Today we have a special guest columnist, Simone Barbato, age 18, who was inspired by an insect she discovered in her swimming pool. Smart Poodle is particularly fond of this story because the insect is one that is common in Costa Rica. . .

You are listening to Nature Stories with Simone.

Today, I saw a stick bug! It looked like this:

I have never before seen a stick bug of any kind except in the form of pixels on a screen, so this sure was a delight! (If you could hear my voice right now, you may think to yourself that you’ll be getting annoyed any minute now, even though I’ve spoken less than four sentences, and you’ll also be thinking that my voice bears NO resemblance whatsoever to Brad Neely’s voice.) I was swimming in the pool, as I always am when I encounter nature, when I saw a very thin creature swimming on the surface of the water. As usual, my ignorance led me to be quite frightened by the fragile, moving twig. Also as usual, I felt the obligation to rescue the critter from the dangers of the sea… or a pool. Its antennae and pointy butt caused me to be worried that it may try to attack me in some way, so I attempted to get it out of the water without touching it. The flimsy, unmoving twigs surrounding me were of no help. I was forced to create a tsunami that would wash the stick bug ashore. (My voice has now rested at a normal tone, and you are no longer distracted by a strange, unusual sound. This parenthetical, however, is distracting you.) I knew for certain that the bug was still alive, but he seemed to be playing dead. I thought that maybe the water was gluing his legs to his twiggy body, so I used a relatively strong, unmoving twig to move the legs and body of the previously-moving twig. After positioning the bug in a standing position on a dry spot of concrete or whatever my patio floor is made of, I continued swimming. For several laps (this is a measurement of time for the time being), the bug stayed in the exact same position. Then, after a while, I looked for it again, and it was gone. I searched the grounds (literally, the ground) for its slender body, thinking it couldn’t have gone far. Unfortunately, it was gone for good, back into the wild of my backyard.

Thank you for tuning in to Nature Stories with Simone.

Thank you, Simone, for sharing your most creative story and excellent artwork with our readers. Please send us more as nature inspires you in the future.

Facebook is a wonderful networking in site in many ways, both for personal and professional contacts, and it can be very entertaining. It’s a great way to stay in touch. But I notice there are some habits people have which are really annoying:

1. Posting a very personal message on another person’s wall for all to see, such as a phone number or details of meeting someone somewhere. There’s email and private messaging for that.
2. Posting messages that hint but do not tell. “Please pray for me.” Why? “I am so happy that I got it!”  Got what? “I am mad at her.” Who and why, and why do I want to know? “So depressed I want to die.” What happened? Should I be worried? Posting hints that make readers curious, with no explanation, upset or confused is rude, especially when there are many comments from friends asking what is wrong and the poster does not respond. If it’s no one’s business what’s wrong or why you are happy or devastated, don’t post about it.
3. Posting inside jokes or plain weird comments no one else can understand. This is a turn off.
4. Requesting a friend you don’t know. I would never send a friend request to someone I do not know.
5. Posting inappropriate or unflattering photos of you or any of your friends.
6. Sending countless gifts or surveys or quizzes to friends. Who has time for all that stuff? I always ignore this.
7. Posting negative comments on someone else’s wall. Rude!
8. Making nasty political or religious statements and expecting others to agree with you. This is ignorant and rude.
9. Bragging about yourself on your wall.
10. Signing up for Facebook, befriending others, but never logging on to check messages or respond to friends. Why sign up?

In addition to these, I have read about and known people who have gotten so addicted to Facebook that it is compromising their jobs or taking time away from family. If you cannot stop yourself from logging in all day and night, you’ve got a problem!

Did you know that “that” is completely overused in writing?

For example: I told her that I could find out what time that we were arriving.

Better: I told her I could find out what time we were arriving.

It’s very simple. Try to say the phrase or sentence without the word “that,” and if it sounds fine without it, don’t use it. Your words will flow so much better without it.

I’ve said many times before that the grocery store is one of the best places to observe people and find inspiration for characters in a story. On Sunday I returned some food to the grocery store – something I almost never do.  I came to find out that there are a number of people who regularly return food. It’s like a cult. You can hear them telling stories about returning this or that even though it has been partially eaten. The truth is that the refund is not worth waiting in that long line with impatient, obnoxious people in front and behind you.

http://desktoppublishing.com/clipart

Picture this. There is a woman with an empty cart in front of me. (there’s really no room for carts at the Customer Service Desk.) She weighs over 300 lbs. and her hips are knocking down the poles that were put into place to mark the waiting line. She has 3 small girls with her (ags-3-5), all of whom are adorable and quite well behaved. The woman is on her cell phone yelling at someone about an insurance claim. While yelling, she is taking notes on a ripped piece of paper, using the palm of one hand as a table top. The three girls start whispering to each other and the woman yells at them to shut up – repeatedly. 12 minutes go by and the woman is still yelling on the phone and still telling the girls to shut up or stop doing whatever they were doing (like humming or playing with their hair.)

It is now the yeller’s turn to return her goods at the counter. There are 18 people in line behind her. She’s not paying any attention to the fact that it is her turn. An old man at the back f the line says, “Get with it or let someone else go in front of you. Can’t you talk on the phone later, Lady?”

I’m thinking, “Amen!”

The woman looks at the old man and says, “You picked a BAD day to talk to me like that, Mister. Yes you did.” But she does not say that one time. She says that approximately 15 times. All the while she’s shaking her head in a “no” manner and waving her pointer finger back and forth, holding up the line. I imagine myself slapping her across the face to get her stop, sort of like moving the needle on a broken record that is repeating itself. I thought she might try punching the old guy, but thankfully she doesn’t. She could do some damage to him no doubt. Oh yes, she’s still on the phone. And yes, she’s still barking at the girls. I’m disgusted with myself, because I find this entire scenario beyond aggravating, yet somewhat fascinating. I consider leaving the store with my rancid food, without returning it. But I choose to stay. It’s rather like looking at a bad car accident. You don’t want to look, but you cannot help yourself.

The yeller finally gives her bag of returns to the clerk, while still on the phone, of course. She says to the person on the other line, ” What in the hell is the matter with you? Can’t you slow down? Do you have somewhere else you need to be? I’m trying to shop here. I cannot shop, talk to you and write at the same time.” (I imagine the look of complete bewilderment on the person on the other end of the phone.) The clerk tells Ms. Yeller that she cannot refund her money because 1) she does not have a receipt and 2) this store does not even carry those items she is returning.

“Jesus Christ,” comes from the old man at the back of the line. Yeller turns around and looks at him with sheer hate, eyes bulging out of her head.

The clerk says , “Next,” and waves me over. The Yeller will not move her cart to let me near the cash register. I ask her three times to move. She moves 2 inches, so I have to hand my food over the cash register and the clerk has to throw the cash back at me. The yeller says, “I’m not leaving until I get a refund.”

The clerk ignores her.

The old man sighs loudly, forcing air loudly out of his blown-up cheeks.

I’m finished returning my food, but the yeller refuses to move her cart and herself to let me by. I pick up one end of her empty cart and move it far away so I can get through.

The yeller gives me an if-looks-could-kill look.

I smile at her and say, “Have a spectacular day!” pat one of her girls on the head and leave the store.

I’ve written part 2 of my article Tracing the Roots of Your Favorite American Author on Wandering Educators. Click here to read it.

I learned a great deal about the hardships of Edgar Allan Poe and the impressive list of friends Nathaniel Hawthorne had! What do you know about your favorite American writer?

1. Do some simple eavesdropping everywhere you go.
2. Check out really weird news stories.
3. Get a lead from something hilarious, stupid, annoying, nice, weird) your spouse said/did.
4. Watch your pet play.
5. Be inspired by bad service you had at a store.
6. Think of several unusual people you know who do not go together well and invite them over at the same time.
7. Visit your local courthouse and observe a trial. (Just don’t use real stories/names!)
8. Volunteer at an elementary school.
9. Walk down the alleys in your neighborhood.
10. People watch at the airport.

http://school.discoveryeducation.com

Determiner – Small words that come before and modify nouns. Example: All children, many children, those children etc.

Interjections – Words (or phrases) that exclaim, command or challenge. Example: Go right now! I don’t believe you!

Conjunction – A word that joins other words together – Example: And but, or, nor, so.

Adjectives - Words tat modify nouns. Example: Pretty woman, hairy rat, sad movie.

Adverbs – Words that modify verbs, adjectives or other adverbs. Example: He moved swiftly down the street. She played a very good game.

Here’s mine:

• Blue skies.
• Cool breeze.
• No humidity!
• Finally!
• Working outside on patio with laptop.
• New Puppy a handful.
• Very cute though.
• Lunch with friend Tim.
• Out on patio.
• Homemade.
• Great conversation.
• Book review up.
• On Amazon.
• Linchpin.
• By Seth Godin.
• Calm.
• Happy.
• Grateful.
• Even though getting bit by mosquitos!
• Did I say puppy cute?

I am going to answer a list of questions I’ve been getting lately in one blog post:

Are you on Twitter?

Yes! http://twitter.com/DebbieGlade

Is your book, Lilly Badilly, still discounted?

Yep. $16.95. Order it here.

Can I still get free shipping on your book on your website?

Sure you can. Use this code FBS1209 (case sensitive)

Where can I read reviews of your book?

Click here and read away!

What is your platform?

I believe in making reading and learning fun. Mastering (and loving) reading at a young age is the key to lifelong success. I am an advocate of geography literacy, as our nation falls far behind others in that category. Creative learning with laughter is far better than rote memorization and strict teaching. I post videos answering kids’ geography questions. The program is called Ask Lilly Badilly All About the World. I am a member of the National Council for Geographic Education and attended a fabulous conference in October in Puerto Rico. My company also just sponsored a HUGE travel writing and art contest. You won’t believe the talents of these young writers and artists!

Do you have an author program?

Yes, I visit schools and libraries regularly. Check it out.

Where can I read your comic strip, Smart Poodle?

I publish a comic strip every Friday on my blog. Click here.

Where do you get the ideas for your comic strip?

From my own life, my crazy imagination and from observing others.

Do you write anything other than children’s books?

I have been a travel writer for far longer than I care to admit. I used to write stacks of brochures and marketing materials for luxury cruise lines. Now I write travel-related articles and some weird entries on my blog and am the Geography Awareness Editor at Wandering Educators. On that site I write articles and review tons of travel-related books and guidebooks. It is a fabulous website! I am also a children’s book reviewer for LA Parent Magazine’s Good Reads with Ronna. Ronna’s the best!

What is your favorite aspect of being an author?

Without a doubt it is the interaction with kids. They say the most hilarious things! They inspire me and teach me every day. I have an 11 year-old fan who writes to me regularly, and she really makes it all worth while.

Can you tell me something readers may be surprised to learn about you?

I am very, very outgoing. But I spend most of my time alone writing, illustrating and working (gardening and housekeeping too), and I do not like being in noisy places with noisy people. Noise makes me nervous. (No one really asked me this question, but I thought it sounded like a good, mysterious question.)