Through experience it has occurred to me that the younger generation is behind the Baby Boomer’s generation when it comes to manners and work ethic. Yes, there are overachievers and drones in every age group as well as those with impeccable manners and those who are greatly lacking in etiquette. But as a children’s book author meeting many children and as a parent of a teenager with friends who come over (clarification – my daughter is grateful, motivated and hard-working and we are not strict), I have noticed that “pleases” and thank-yous” are so rare among other kids that I am totally impressed and grateful when I receive them. There’s something fundamentally wrong with that, isn’t there? If I failed to say thank you or please as a child, my Mom would have lectured me for an hour about manners. And then she would have relectured me the next day. Thank God.

Other observations have to do with motivation and work ethic, pure and simple. I have numerous successful friends with kids who have graduated from high school or college and really do not take the initiative to do anything with their lives. No plan, no job, no drive. They are nice kids, but seem to have no ambition, no passion for anything. In Florida there are many teens who do not bother to get their driver’s licenses. Huh, you say? This is not because their parents do not let them or because they do not have a car to use to practice driving. It’s because they are lazy and do not want to bother studying for the test. I cannot think of a single person my age I know who did not get his license the day he turned 16.

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I pose these questions:

1. Does the Baby Boomer generation expect less from their kids than the Baby Boomers’ parents expected from them?
2. Does the increase in cost and quantity of gifts given to kids spoil them by making them think money is easy to come by?
3. What can we do as parents to make sure our kids have the manners, motivation and a work ethic that will ensure a successful, independent future for them?

Here’s what I know:

1. A child’s manners are learned from her parents and should be taught, with kindness, from birth.
2. Children learn by example. If you say please and thank you and write thank-you notes, so will your kids.
3. Motivation comes from within. If kids are handed too many material things and tasks are completed for them, they will not be motivated.
4. Motivation also depends a great deal upon self confidence. A child who is constantly criticized, belittled or scolded will often lack motivation due to fear of failure.
5. Following through with tasks has to do with all three – manners, motivation and work ethic. Returning phone calls, emails, making good on promises and simply finishing what has been started are required for success in work and in life. Kids who not only observe their parents following through, but are also respectfully expected (by their parents) to follow through will be more successful in life.
6. Children learn the value of hard work through reward. They need incentive to put forth an effort. But they should not be rewarded when they do not take action.
7. Kids do not enjoy hearing hardship stories about the days of ol’ in your life, your parents’ or grandparents’ lives. It does not generally motivate them nor can they relate to them.
8. It is natural for parents to want to give their kids a better life than what they had, but too much is too much. Spoiled children grow up to be unhappy, unproductive adults.

Manners, Motivation, Work Ethic – Does Your Child Have Them?

Do you?

The Library Link of the Day website somehow found the Smart Poodle Librarian Writing Contest (from December) and published a link to my site on Monday, March 16th. That listing brought me 4,200+ hits to my contest page in one day!!!! That’s 4,200+ more librarians who now know about Smart Poodle and Lilly Badilly. I have no idea where the editor of that website heard about us. Thank You Library Link of the Day!

This nice surprise made me realize that no work (to get the word out about your product or service) is ever a waste of time. Everything and everyone is somehow connected, and you never know who is paying attention or who will be listening to  – or reading – an internet, radio, TV, newspaper or journal story about your product or business or who will talk to someone else who talks about you and your business.

I was watching Good Morning America about a month ago, and actor Dustin Hoffman was a guest talking about how difficult the first 10 years were for him as a struggling actor. He talked about how most people incorrectly assume he was an overnight success. He remembers clearly what it was like to struggle those 10 long years, and how each step he took, though small, was a step in the right direction. He recalled about some of the tiny roles he played in the early days and said he was just as dedicated to doing an excellent acting job acting in a 30 second scene as he is being the star of a blockbuster movie. I totally respect that.

There were times when he questioned whether or not true success would ever happen for him, but he stayed focused and refused to quit. All he wanted to do was act. He had to do it. And so he did. No one can say that he is not one of the finest actors of all time. What impressed me most was his genuine gratitude for “making it” in the acting world and for remembering where he came from and how challenging it was to get to where he is today. 10 years is a long time to stick to something that is not paying the bills! It was fascinating to hear a real, unglorified success story, the way it actually happened.

We are bombarded by the media with overnight success stories. “Lose 10 pounds in 10 days and keep it off forever with no exercise!” Yeah, right! The truth is that there is no such thing as overnight success; it just seems like it. So keep on trying. Spread the word. Every person who knows about your product, service or business is one more voice who may tell someone else. The “right” someone else(s), who can bring you to a new level of success. Starting and running a business is like competing in a triathlon. It takes years of preparation and endurance. Most people don’t ever make it to the finish line, because it is always easier to quit than endure. Take your passion one tiny step at a time. Keep climbing no matter how much time it takes. Sooner or later, you’ll reach the top.