I despise the clichés, “Time flew by!” and “Where did the time go?” yet as my daughter celebrated her 18^th birthday yesterday and is leaving for college in a week, the reality of  time is slapping me in the face. Have you ever looked around in a public place and thought, “Look at how many children were born after my child?” I tend to do this often. I wonder if the parents of all those millions of children born after my daughter realize just how fast time will fly before their babies leave home? I’m sure most have no idea just how soon that will be!

This is a real empty nest I found in my back yard. Wonder how the mommy felt?

For obvious reasons, parents tend to put all their efforts into their children, only to be a bit lost when they leave the nest. Which is worse – that we will miss them, or we will not be able to “supervise” them any more? Or is it that we will not know what to do with ourselves without living our lives through them? No more chauffeuring, bag lunches, play dates, running to activities, parent-teacher meetings, inconvenient required school functions, waiting in long lines for report cards, planning around the school calendar, college apps, college visits, financial aid forms. I say “Total bummer!” and “Yeah!” all at the same time. Is it normal to be this confused?

I am not the first parent who will feel the heart-strings tugging when I drop my child off at college, and I will not be the last. I vow to be more excited, than sad, for her academic and social opportunities and independence. After all, we raised her to be independent, responsible and motivated, and now we will get to see the results without any more effort on our parts. Wow, saying that makes me wonder if that a good thing or not?

As for me, I will work more hours, clean the house (I mean really, really clean it) and perhaps take up serious yoga, do more craft work, write another book, (lay in bed all day once in a while) or even take a class – that is when I’m not on the phone with my daughter, waiting for her to call, texting her, waiting for a text back, writing her letters, waiting for a reply or baking her some goodies to ship out.

And oh yes, I vaguely recall a man I live with whom I married some 22 years ago and have neglected for far too long. I can finally spend time with him again.

If he’ll have me.

Since it’s back to school time, we thought we’d repost links to some of the most popular articles from our site about school . . .

http://clipart-for-free.blogspot.com

Cheating is Not Okay

Homework – When to Let Go as a Parent

How to Survive the Homework of the Middle School Years

Make Coming Home from School Special for Your Child Every Day

Get Your Elementary Age Kids Ready for School Now

Lessons We are Missing in School

1. Don’t just go to the office supply store and start buying a bunch of stuff. Wait to buy after you get a list of suggested or required supplies from your child’s teachers.
2. Take advantage of the no tax weeks some states allow for back to school shopping.
3. Check carefully around your house to use what you already have.
4. Reuse backpacks and book bags, even if it’s not totally “cool.
5. Check ads and websites for sales and compare store prices.
6. Buy only what you need. If you store a bunch of extras, chances are you won’t need them or will not be able to find them later on. Items like pens tend to dry out when not used, so don’t buy them in bulk.
7. Mark your child’s name on his supplies. It’s a shame to waste money, having to rebuy.
8. Teach your child to be responsible with her stuff and to be careful to guard the more expensive supplies like calculators. These items are the most likely to get stolen.

http://classroomclipart.com

An article in the NY Times this week describes the extremes colleges are now going to to prevent and catch cheaters. It’s rather shocking. Cheating starts at a young age and festers into adulthood. Here are some of the factors that go into creating cheaters.

Children who do the following are more likely to cheat:

• have ultra competitive parents who pressure their children to excel or are compared to others who do well.
• have parents who are never satisfied with their accomplishments.
• have an overachieving sibling who is older and is compared to that sibling by parents and others.
• have cheating parents – cheat on their taxes, cheat on their spouses, cheat others in business.
• are involved in highly competitive sports with competitive coaches.
• attend a very competitive school with competitive peers.
• attend a university where they are ranked.
• who are overwhelmed by their work load.
• have access to the internet on their cell phones.
• have cheated before and got away with it or were caught but suffered little or no consequences.
• see how easy it is for others to do it.

So how do you raise a child to resist the temptation to cheat?

• Get your own practices in check. Are you a cheater even in “subtle” ways? Are you ultra competitive?
• Often parents push because they want their child to accomplish what they did not have the motivation to do themselves. That is a common situation among most parents, however it is important to be realistic about what your child can do and wants to do.
• Watch what you say and hint to your children. “Wow, Tommy got a perfect score on that test you struggled with, so it can be done if you try harder, Son.” “Great job. Maybe next time you can do even better!”
• Be mindful of your body language and facial expressions when your children are sharing good news with you.
• Don’t push sports on your children if they are not interested. If they do love sports, don’t make it everything. Constantly talking about winning or a mistake a child made in a game is a huge mistake.
• Encourage your child to participate in some activities and hobbies that are not competitive.
• Don’t pressure your child to take accelerated classes or a workload that is too difficult for him. Don’t push the Gifted Program if is not the right fit for your child.
• Don’t fight for your child’s grades at school and contest teachers’ decisions unless it is absolutely necessary, and rarely will that be the case.
• Do talk to your child from an early age about cheating, and that you will not condone it for any reason, no matter what others are doing.

If your child is caught cheating or you yourself discovers that she cheated, take immediate action. Make sure the consequences fit the crime.

http://school.discoveryeducation.com

You may have read a story about a boy who is 13 and is trying to reach the peak of Mount Everest. Here’s an article about it in thr NY Times. This young man is risking his life to stake the claim that he is the youngest person to ever reach the peak (his father is on the journey with him). Is it worth it? I suppose if he safely makes it there and back, he’ll sure think so. But soon after he celebrates, someone will come along and blow his record away. “Toddler Climbs Mount Everest Alone in One Week in Diapers.”

There’s another story about a young man named Adam Wheeler who allegedly faked all of his academic records (and claimed to have a perfect SAT score) to get into Harvard and obtain scholarships and grants. He allegedly lied about where he went to college and faked transcripts. He even falsely claimed to author and co-author a long list of books. His ability to fool the pros (for a while) gave him opportunities that should have gone to other authentically accomplished students. Rather than achieving, this young man seemed to be spending his energy scheming. Just imagine if he had put all this effort into actually doing well in school rather than lying! Was there pressure on him by his parents to achieve? How did they not know he was lying to get in? Is he just an extreme example of what the pressure can do to be the best and the brightest?

As a parent of a child who just graduated from high school and survived the college app process, I can tell you that competition among children is getting fiercer and fiercer. When I was graduating from high school, outstanding students never paid for college; they received countless scholarship opportunities. Now there are so many superstar students, not only do colleges not need to offer them scholarships, they don’t even need to accept them into their schools. Students graduate from high school today with a long list of AP credits, academic distinctions, perfect test scores, essay awards, thousands of community service hours, music and dance competitions and on and on.

When is there time to be a kid when you are spending so much time trying to be perfect? Attempting to be better than everyone else in some way? Does all this overachieving really pay off or is there a price to be paid for it?

1. How could 4 years fly by that quickly?
2. Wow, am I proud of my daughter.
3. 4 years of high school is long enough.
4. Why are the graduation speeches so boring?
5. I respect so many of my daughter’s wonderful teachers, and I want to thank them.
6. I wish I worked as hard in high school as my daughter did.
7. How many of my daughter’s high school friends will she still be in touch with when she graduates?
8. I am so excited for her future.
9. What wonderful things will she do with her life when she is done with college?
10. What on earth will I do when she’s gone?

The children love to learn about the water color pencils I used for my illustrations

We sure had a great time today at Loxahatchee Groves Elementary School in Palm Beach County.  We got to meet every student and teacher. And what a friendly place it is! The students here are major readers, and many went home today with an autographed book.

My daughter, Rachel came along, played the piano for the students and talked about how much she practices and what it takes to learn to read music. We all danced, sang and learned about the Costa Rican rain forest. And of course, we talked about the importance of reading.

Many thanks to Media Specialist, Coleen Psoinos for inviting me and being the most gracious host. Thanks also to Principal Myerson, for your kind words and hospitality. You’ve got a great school there at Loxahatchee Groves Elementary!

You’ve heard me talk about The Village School in Naples; I had an author visit there in 2008 and returned last December to give awards to several 4^th grade students who won prizes in our “I Love Costa Rica’s Rain Forest Contest.”  The school is awesome!  There is so much positive energy and a love of learning from the administration, staff, and the students.

One of the reasons for the school’s great success is 4^th grade teacher, Steven Noyes.  Mr. Noyes was recently honored by the Christian Chamber of Southwest Florida as the Golden Halo 2009 Winner.  This award recognizes one outstanding teacher at a private Christian/Catholic school from a pool of five counties in Southwest Florida.  After 50 nominations and 10 finalists were named, Mr. Noyes was selected as the sole winner.  He is a passionate and ultra positive teacher who connects with his students in a most exceptional way. We sat down with Mr. Noyes to ask him questions about his award as well as his teaching philosophy.

Steven Noyes after winning the Golden Halo Award

Congratulations! You must have felt so honored when you found out you were the Golden Halo winner.  What was your initial reaction?

All ten finalists were at a beautiful banquet that evening, and when I was announced as a top three finalist, I started thinking I had a real chance.  Honestly, I was very surprised, but deeply honored.

What did you win and how did you celebrate?

I received a beautiful Golden Halo lapel pin studded with diamonds from the Diamond District, a wonderful certificate of recognition, and a two-day hotel getaway.  I celebrated with my students the next week with a big party!  They loved it!

How long have you been a teacher?

This is my 21^st year as a teacher.  It has been a rewarding and enjoyable journey.

I’ve been to your incredible school and your classroom.  I’ve seen the way you are with your students.  You really have a unique influence on your students.  I see it in your energy and gentle encouragement.  What motivates you to teach?

First and foremost, I love working with children.  I enjoy doing anything and going the extra mile for my students.  They motivate me to be the best I can be, and I never get tired of it.

How does being a teacher at a Christian school affect your teaching methods?

It allows me to be able to speak freely about God and to pray with my students anytime we feel the need.  I think it just takes education to the next level because we share and we care, we play and we pray, and we earn and we learn.

I really like your philosophy… What qualities do you think a good teacher possesses?

I think any good teacher has to love working with children.  They need to have patience, energy, and love for their students.  They also are lifelong learners always striving to be better at what they do.

Your students are so passionate about writing.  How do you motivate them, and what do you do to help them improve their writing skills?

Right from the beginning of the year, I try to show students that writing can be fun.  I show them that it isn’t just sitting down with a sheet of paper, using a graphic organizer, or going through the writing process.  Even though these are great (and needed) tools, we start small and build up to writing stories with various activities and tools.  We focus on “showing not telling”, using vivid language, keeping voice consistent, and using effective transitioning.  It’s a lot of fun to write!

I wish more teachers were able to get their students excited about writing… Describe for us one of the best days you’ve ever had as a teacher?

Honestly, every day is special in it’s own way, but when some of the members of the Christian Chamber entered my room one afternoon surprising me and my class announcing that I was a finalist for the Golden Halo, it was memorable.  Seeing the four students that had nominated me standing there with smiles, and receiving hugs from all of my students brought tears to my eyes.

What are your biggest challenges?

My biggest challenges include trying to meet the needs of each student while also trying to instill class unity in everything we do.  Also, trying to keep students challenged that need it and deserve it, and finding enough hours in a day to do what needs to be done.

I’m sure there are many other teachers out there who share your challenges! You wrote and published your own book of poetry called Journeys:  A Collection of School Poems.  What inspired you to write the book?

I love to write poetry and over recent years, I started writing a few poems about the experiences of students and teachers at school.  I would bring them in and share them with my students.  A couple of years ago, my students said I should have them published, so I self-published a collection of them and made them available for anyone in our school.

That’s another great way you inspire your students to write – by showing them you put out the effort too… When you are not teaching, what do you like to do on your time off?

I love spending time with my family, including my four precious nieces.  I love spending time with friends doing just about anything, and I love coaching. For the past 20 years I have coached 60 different teams from various sports.  I currently coach two basketball teams at our school.

You are indeed dedicated, Steven! I’ve always said that teachers are under-appreciated and underpaid.  Yet, they have one of the most important jobs on the planet.  What do you think we can do to change this?

I think sometimes teachers get a bad rap due to some people having negative experiences during their school years.  I can tell you that the teachers I work with are phenomenal human beings who go the extra mile for our students.  I think most teachers do just that.  As far as money goes, I feel rich in many other ways other than monetary.  I believe that is part of the reward of being a teacher.

Steven accepts his coveted award

What advice do you have for a young teacher who is just starting out?

I think the biggest thing is to be yourself.  It is important that, despite who you might be replacing, or where you come from, that you don’t try to be someone you are not.  Set the tone from day one about your expectations, and stay consistent with them throughout.  Always remember, the students are your number one priority.  They are who you are there for.  If you aren’t there for that reason, the students will know right away.  Being a teacher can be one of the most rewarding occupations.  I know that my students have made a difference in my life in so many positive ways.  I wouldn’t want to do anything else.

Steven, thank you so much for answering our questions. Being a children’s book author, I have met so many dedicated, wonderful teachers and librarians. After observing you interacting with your students the way you do and feeling your students’ admiration for you and enthusiasm for learning, I knew you were an extra special teacher. It’s people like you who will inspire the rest of the world to give teaching the utmost respect it deserves.

Readers, if you live in Southwest Florida and are looking for a beautiful, nurturing, innovative Christian school for your child, be sure to visit The Village School in Naples. This school is home to the happiest students and most passionate teachers I’ve ever met!

6000 Goodlette Rd N
Naples, FL 34109-7206
(239) 449-4968

Parents with children of different ages talk to me about school. The most common concern among these parents is homework; their children are not self disciplined enough to get the work done on their own.

Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Galleryon www.DiscoverySchool.com

The question is, when should you, as a parent stop reminding your child to get his homework done and when should stop helping him actually do it? I asked this question of 1st-3rd grade Montessori teacher, Rachel Pulido, who has more than 30 years of teaching experience.  “By third grade, an average student should be able to do her homework on her own, without being reminded. It’s normal for parents to want to step in, but it is better if children in third grade and higher suffer the consequences of not getting their work done. Otherwise they will not learn to be independent and self motivated.”

This is great advice. While it may be upsetting for parents to watch a child’s grade slump, this is the best way for the student to learn self discipline.”Middle school students should be completely self sufficient about managing their assignments. It’s fine for them to ask for help at times, but they should not be guided by their parents or reminded about deadlines.”

As far as children with learning disabilities, Ms. Pulido said, “This is a different story. No matter what the age of the child, you will have to be more involved. If not, the student may disconnect and lose interest, because the work may be too overwhelming.”

Not long ago, I watched a news segment about a healthy, normal 6th grade boy, who severely lacked confidence. It turned out that his mother was obsessed with him getting everything correct on his homework and excelling on all his tests. She laid out his work on the dining room table, sat him down and watched and pointed as he filled in worksheets. She checked every answer, read his textbooks, quizzed him excessively and called teachers often to ask questions. The stress this created for him was insurmountable. He was afraid to try anything on his own without the approval of his mom, including making the simplest decisions (like what flavor of  ice cream he should order). His well-meaning, yet controlling mother created a helpless, insecure, unhappy child. A counselor worked with her to show her how her controlling actions were detrimental to her son.

While this is an extreme case, it is representative of a common problem. So unless your child has a learning disability, let her face the consequences of slacking off with homework. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries and communicating exactly what your expectations are and what the repercussions will be if her grades start slipping. But rather than doing the work for her, let your child learn the the best way – by making old fashioned mistakes and suffering the consequences.

It is gardening season in Miami, and one of my favorite schools, Miami Christian, is starting its wonderful winter gardening program for the year. Elementary students plant organic vegetables in raised beds outside their classrooms. At harvest time, they sell their veggies to community members. And the money earned is sent to an orphanage is India. How splendid is that? The children learn so much, and they are doing such a generous deed for the needy at the same time.

Today I visited the school to talk to the students about what I know about organic gardening and especially keeping those pests off the plants. Then we planted a few tomato seedlings I grew for them. I praise Miami Christian for their project, and I adore their curious students!

There’s a whole lot more to come . . .

Raised beds make for easier gardening for the children

An eager student from Ms. Cabrera’s class plants a tomato seedling

A board in Ms. Cabrera’s classroom proudly displays photos and letters of thanks from the children in the Indian orphanage