Yesterday I was really put to the test as far as controlling my reactions to every day aggravations. How did I do? I’ll let you decide for yourself.

1. On the way home from dropping my daughter off at school, I tried to merge on the highway but got stuck behind a minivan going 25 MPH! Oncoming cars in the right lane did not slow down enough, and I was stuck in the middle of it all. It was one of the most terrifying merging experiences I have ever had. How I made it out alive, I am unsure. But did I let it bother me? You bet your @#$ I did! Let’s just say that it is likely that the the minivan driver had nightmares about my facial expressions last night.
2. I had a lunch meeting and could not find a parking space. Then when I finally did, the rain poured on me. If that were not bad enough, I stepped into a deep (7 inch) puddle and my feet, socks and shoes AND bottom of my pants were soaking wet. That was very uncomfortable sitting in the air conditioning that way. How did I handle it? One word. But I cannot say it.
3. I had to run to the post office on my way to pick my daughter up from school. After arriving at the post office, I realized I forgot to bring the papers needed for Rachel to take her driver’s license test. So I had to race back home (in the rain) to pick them up and then head to school. I knew I’d be late picking her up, and she would be waiting for me intently (due to the eagerness to take the driver’s license test). How did I react to this inconvenience? Actually, I did not let it bother me, really – that is until a nasty driver of an 18 wheeler cut me off on I 95.
4. On the way to the driving exam, it started to rain again extremely hard. We knew this meant we might get turned away at the DMV, like we were on Monday. But we decided to drive out there anyway to give it a try. We witnessed a ridiculously stupid car accident right in front of us, where the guilty party chewed out the innocent driver. We decided not to get involved. It was stressful. I kept my thought to myself on that one.
5. 1 mile from that minor wreck, we got stuck in more traffic due to a more serious accident. By now we thought we’d never make it to the DMV in time to get the license test done. But we both were pretty good about just waiting it out. Okay, I did a lot of sighing and moaning maybe.
6. We finally got to the DMV and were faced with a long line outside. Luckily we had a special pass to get VIP treatment due to being turned away on the day we had the appointment. But then we had to wait in another long line, but at least it wasn’t 2 long lines. (See? I’m being positive.) The real problem was that we had to move our car to the testing area. Rachel was driving, and another driver came very close to slamming into her twice while she was backing up. Not her fault. Even though she tooted her horn, the other driver kept going until I yelled at the top of my lungs out the window. It turned out that the driver was around 100 years old. The good news is that Rachel passed her driving test!
7. When we finally came home, I was glad to get back to work, since that would be more relaxing than driving. Rachel went next door because she is cat sitting for the neighbor. She was unable to turn off the house alarm, so the obnoxious alarm noise blasted through the neighborhood. I had to run over there. I could not turn it off either, as apparently the control panel near the front door does not work. The neighbor failed to inform us about this situation. The phone rang and it was the alarm company, but because we could not find the darn cordless phone we could not answer in time. I was running around the house like a maniac panicking. We finally were able to turn it off using the panel by the back door. Long story short, the police came – 45 minutes later! (Nice security!) We explained what happened and it was okay.
8. I came back home and started to make dinner. What could happen now? Well let me tell you. I cut my thumb with a very sharp knife while slicing a potato. (I rarely cut myself in the kitchen, and I cook all the time.) Ouch. Very gross as well. How did I handle it? I ran around the kitchen looking for something to wrap it in, since it was bleeding a lot. Turns out I picked up a paper towel that had glass cleaner all over it. Ouch! $@#%&! My husband had just come home from work, so he helped me get it right. (Today it is all swollen, and it is no fun to type on the keyboard.)

I went to bed at 9 pm last night. I assessed my reactions to the events of the day. I gave myself a D-/F+ for my reactions. I guess I have a long way to go.

Our piano-playing, avid-reading, good-humored daughter is 16 today. . . For all of you who have younger kids, beware. It may sound cliche, but time goes by so incredibly quickly, it is unbelievable. Enjoy every moment. More photos to come later . . .

My daughter and her friend, Ben decided to go fishing today. First they wanted to stop at the Italian market to pick up sandwiches, go to a bait shop, and then the intracoastal to fish. Ben was driving and does not know his way around our area, since he lives abut 12 miles from here. So I took it upon myself to draw them a detailed map from our house to the market, to the bait shop, to the pier and back home. It gave them a good laugh when they saw it. But they said it came in very handy. They got there and home safely. Overparenting on my part? I’d like to think not.

By the way, Rachel and Ben caught and released a bunch of puffer fish.

John shows Rachel how to rig the fishing pole.

My custom map.

Ben with unidentified fish

Rachel and Ben.

OMG – What a great morning I had. After Rachel read my blog entry from yesterday, she informed me that I missed a few positive things on my list.

• Letting her form her own opinions about important subjects. (This does not by any means mean I did not share my opinionated views. However my hubby and I do let our daughter think for herself and figure stuff out on her own.)
• Giving her a foundation for self confidence.
• Showing her it is okay to be different and not try to “fit in.” (Well, coming from us she genetically has no choice but to be very different. And she seems to be liked by many without ever worrying about it much.)

It was a real pleasure having my kid share these items with me this morning. I pray she does not ask me to make a list of all the mistakes I’ve made. Let’s just ignore those, shall we?

To celebrate this and to counteract the totally rainy Miami day we had, I am posting some photos of gorgeous flowers from our trip to NY/Montreal a few weeks ago, following this picture of our dreary backyard this afternoon in the tropics…

Now that we are one month away from my daughter’s official Driver’s License, I have been thinking about how proud I am of her. I usually beat myself up over mistakes I may have made as a parent, telling her, “When you are older and are in counseling, it is okay to blame your Mother for the following…” But today I started to think about some of the positive things I have done (my husband gets at LEAST 1/2 of the credit here as well). Let me list these for you:

1. Teaching her to be responsible.
2. Demonstrating self discipline.
3. Passing on a good work ethic.
4. Showing her loyalty to friends and others.
5. Showing her and others kindness.
6. By respecting her, we taught her to respect others.
7. Giving her our nutty sense of humor gene.
8. Demonstrating common sense!
9. Encouraging her to stand up for herself ALWAYS.
10. Sharing a love of reading and all things books.

Wow, I feel better about myself now. What have you taught your kids?

1. They love us unconditionally and do not criticize us.

2. They are forgiving.

3. They want to play, play, play!

4. They speak from the heart.

5. They love to laugh.

6. They tend to stop eating when they’ve had enough food.

7. They are not afraid to use their imagination.

8. They need to know “why?”

9. They do not discriminate (unless we teach them to).

10. They get excited about little things.

It’s time for each of us in the family to go to the dentist for a regular cleaning. Every time I make appointments I am reminded of one of my worst days as a mother. My kid was about 6 and getting her first fluoride treatment. As the hygienist was preparing the mold with the disgusting goop she puts in it, I started to think about my sister. When we were kids she would totally gag every time she had a fluoride treatment, and then cry in anger. Back then it was required to leave that yuck on your teeth for 15 minutes. The hygienist would tell my sister that if she spit it out before the 15 minutes were up, she’d have to start all over again. EVERY single time she wet to the dentist, my sister could not do it and spit it out, having to start over again.

So the first time my daughter, Rachel had the treatment, naturally I was reminiscing about my experience and how awful it tasted and how my sister could not get through it. Well, when they put those lip looking things on Rachel with the nasty “tangerine” flavored fluoride in it, and she started to drool and look grossed out, I really lost it. I laughed so hard that I was crying, and I could not control myself. I was actually having trouble breathing. Isn’t that awful? The hygentist was so disgusted with my behavior that she made me stand in the hallway. I still could not contain myself for a long time. This woman would not look at me, and clearly thought I was horrible. I continued to laugh even AFTER the treatment was over, though I tried desperately to stop.

The next time we went in there, I was determined not to laugh. But that same hygienist was there, and she remembered the episode I had a year earlier. She asked me to leave BEFORE even beginning the fluoride treatment. “We ask the parents to wait in the waiting room during the treatment.” she lied. My kid gave her a high five. What a terrible mother I was!

After that we just switched dentists. And Rachel never let me go in with her at a dentist’s office ever again. I cannot say that I blame her.