I recently went to visit my brother and family in NYC. I sewed some slip covers for my nephew, Jack’s  classroom. He wrote me this adorable thank you note, complete with stickers and a mint attached. It melted my heart!

I came across this great Q and A int he NY Times where a parent admits that he discovers his son is cyberbullying. It isn’t often that one can read about it from the point of view of the bully’s family. The advice is quite good.  Click here to read it.

Facebook is a wonderful networking in site in many ways, both for personal and professional contacts, and it can be very entertaining. It’s a great way to stay in touch. But I notice there are some habits people have which are really annoying:

1. Posting a very personal message on another person’s wall for all to see, such as a phone number or details of meeting someone somewhere. There’s email and private messaging for that.
2. Posting messages that hint but do not tell. “Please pray for me.” Why? “I am so happy that I got it!”  Got what? “I am mad at her.” Who and why, and why do I want to know? “So depressed I want to die.” What happened? Should I be worried? Posting hints that make readers curious, with no explanation, upset or confused is rude, especially when there are many comments from friends asking what is wrong and the poster does not respond. If it’s no one’s business what’s wrong or why you are happy or devastated, don’t post about it.
3. Posting inside jokes or plain weird comments no one else can understand. This is a turn off.
4. Requesting a friend you don’t know. I would never send a friend request to someone I do not know.
5. Posting inappropriate or unflattering photos of you or any of your friends.
6. Sending countless gifts or surveys or quizzes to friends. Who has time for all that stuff? I always ignore this.
7. Posting negative comments on someone else’s wall. Rude!
8. Making nasty political or religious statements and expecting others to agree with you. This is ignorant and rude.
9. Bragging about yourself on your wall.
10. Signing up for Facebook, befriending others, but never logging on to check messages or respond to friends. Why sign up?

In addition to these, I have read about and known people who have gotten so addicted to Facebook that it is compromising their jobs or taking time away from family. If you cannot stop yourself from logging in all day and night, you’ve got a problem!

Through experience it has occurred to me that the younger generation is behind the Baby Boomer’s generation when it comes to manners and work ethic. Yes, there are overachievers and drones in every age group as well as those with impeccable manners and those who are greatly lacking in etiquette. But as a children’s book author meeting many children and as a parent of a teenager with friends who come over (clarification – my daughter is grateful, motivated and hard-working and we are not strict), I have noticed that “pleases” and thank-yous” are so rare among other kids that I am totally impressed and grateful when I receive them. There’s something fundamentally wrong with that, isn’t there? If I failed to say thank you or please as a child, my Mom would have lectured me for an hour about manners. And then she would have relectured me the next day. Thank God.

Other observations have to do with motivation and work ethic, pure and simple. I have numerous successful friends with kids who have graduated from high school or college and really do not take the initiative to do anything with their lives. No plan, no job, no drive. They are nice kids, but seem to have no ambition, no passion for anything. In Florida there are many teens who do not bother to get their driver’s licenses. Huh, you say? This is not because their parents do not let them or because they do not have a car to use to practice driving. It’s because they are lazy and do not want to bother studying for the test. I cannot think of a single person my age I know who did not get his license the day he turned 16.

http://media.fastclick.net

I pose these questions:

1. Does the Baby Boomer generation expect less from their kids than the Baby Boomers’ parents expected from them?
2. Does the increase in cost and quantity of gifts given to kids spoil them by making them think money is easy to come by?
3. What can we do as parents to make sure our kids have the manners, motivation and a work ethic that will ensure a successful, independent future for them?

Here’s what I know:

1. A child’s manners are learned from her parents and should be taught, with kindness, from birth.
2. Children learn by example. If you say please and thank you and write thank-you notes, so will your kids.
3. Motivation comes from within. If kids are handed too many material things and tasks are completed for them, they will not be motivated.
4. Motivation also depends a great deal upon self confidence. A child who is constantly criticized, belittled or scolded will often lack motivation due to fear of failure.
5. Following through with tasks has to do with all three – manners, motivation and work ethic. Returning phone calls, emails, making good on promises and simply finishing what has been started are required for success in work and in life. Kids who not only observe their parents following through, but are also respectfully expected (by their parents) to follow through will be more successful in life.
6. Children learn the value of hard work through reward. They need incentive to put forth an effort. But they should not be rewarded when they do not take action.
7. Kids do not enjoy hearing hardship stories about the days of ol’ in your life, your parents’ or grandparents’ lives. It does not generally motivate them nor can they relate to them.
8. It is natural for parents to want to give their kids a better life than what they had, but too much is too much. Spoiled children grow up to be unhappy, unproductive adults.

Manners, Motivation, Work Ethic – Does Your Child Have Them?

Do you?

In the business of publishing, many letters go out, emails get sent and phone calls get made. But where is everybody? Has the world disappeared?

I respond to people who have left me messages and do not even hear back from them. EVER.  Where did they go???????

No  matter what reason people have for not returning messages, I, for one, will not be that rude. Yes, there are extenuating circumstances that make it impossible to get back to people. (i.e. sudden and instant death, loss of fingers or other emergencies), but I don’t think that can be the case with more than 99% of the population.

This brings me to the subject of manners. I receive tons of emails from people who want something from me. They want to sell me something, have me do them a favor, publish their books, give them a recipe, provide moral support, and much more. I ANSWER ALL OF THESE. Sometimes it just takes one sentence. People cannot say that author Glade or anyone at Smart Poodle Publishing is rude.

My sister, Shelley (older than me – just had to mention that) is a successful marketing expert. Her company is called Airlift Ideas. She ALWAYS returns phone calls. In fact, she somehow manages to return my calls before I have even finished recording the message on her machine. Maybe that is why companies like to work with her and find out how they can improve their own images and successfully market their brands. They can be sure she’ll not only be there when needed, but also get the job done well.  Check out her website. (She does not dress in millipede costume or speak in cartoon voices, but she does a fabulous presentation.)

Okay, back to manners. Teach your kids to have them. Not only should they say “thank you,” respect adults, clean up after themselves and hold doors open for people, but they also should respond. If a friend calls, call that friend back. If a question is asked, answer it. If a promise is made, keep it. It’s not that hard.

And don’t you want your children to be reliable and well respected? Trust me, it’ll pay off some day if they are. In a major big way.