As a children’s book author, I am often asked, “How Can I tell if my young child is gifted?”

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There are many possible signs:

• Love of books – Gifted kids love when their parents read them books, and they can sit still through a short story. They will often ask for books as gifts and you will see them sitting and looking at their books on their own. They will also generally start to read on their own at age 4 or 5.
• Curiosity – Asking a lot of questions about many topics is a common every day occurrence for gifted children. You can see their wheels turning in their little brains as you answer their questions.
• Broad Vocabulary -  If you notice your toddler is using “big” words for his age or is very creative in his choice of words, that is an obvious sign of intelligence.
• Talent – Does your child draw well, have an interest in a musical instrument, often perform for you? These too are signs of a gifted child.
• Hobbies – A highly intelligent child will have a variety of interests and will likely have a collection of sorts – coins, rocks, shark teeth, stamps, marbles, etc.
• Concentration – Gifted children are active like other children but ca also concentrate on tasks for a longer period of time than their peers.
• Memory – A gifted child remembers a great number of facts and events and may shock you when she gets older when she mentions details she remembers from her toddler years.
• Insight – Many gifted children are wise well beyond their years. They may be more sensitive to others’ emotions or even offer advice that is so mature for their age it will take you by surprise.
• Desire to be with Older Children and Adults – Bright children, even those as young as 3 or 4 enjoy listening to good conversation. They may prefer to hang out with older kids or sit in on a conversation adults are having.

Parents can generally tell if their child is an advanced learner. If one or both of a child’s parents are gifted, it makes sense that the child may be as well. In any event, a child does not have to be “gifted” to be ultra successful in life. We’ve all known very intellectual yet lazy people as well as ultra successful adults who showed no sign of being gifted as a child.

Success is mostly about motivation and getting along with others.

Parents with children of different ages talk to me about school. The most common concern among these parents is homework; their children are not self disciplined enough to get the work done on their own.

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The question is, when should you, as a parent stop reminding your child to get his homework done and when should stop helping him actually do it? I asked this question of 1st-3rd grade Montessori teacher, Rachel Pulido, who has more than 30 years of teaching experience.  “By third grade, an average student should be able to do her homework on her own, without being reminded. It’s normal for parents to want to step in, but it is better if children in third grade and higher suffer the consequences of not getting their work done. Otherwise they will not learn to be independent and self motivated.”

This is great advice. While it may be upsetting for parents to watch a child’s grade slump, this is the best way for the student to learn self discipline.”Middle school students should be completely self sufficient about managing their assignments. It’s fine for them to ask for help at times, but they should not be guided by their parents or reminded about deadlines.”

As far as children with learning disabilities, Ms. Pulido said, “This is a different story. No matter what the age of the child, you will have to be more involved. If not, the student may disconnect and lose interest, because the work may be too overwhelming.”

Not long ago, I watched a news segment about a healthy, normal 6th grade boy, who severely lacked confidence. It turned out that his mother was obsessed with him getting everything correct on his homework and excelling on all his tests. She laid out his work on the dining room table, sat him down and watched and pointed as he filled in worksheets. She checked every answer, read his textbooks, quizzed him excessively and called teachers often to ask questions. The stress this created for him was insurmountable. He was afraid to try anything on his own without the approval of his mom, including making the simplest decisions (like what flavor of  ice cream he should order). His well-meaning, yet controlling mother created a helpless, insecure, unhappy child. A counselor worked with her to show her how her controlling actions were detrimental to her son.

While this is an extreme case, it is representative of a common problem. So unless your child has a learning disability, let her face the consequences of slacking off with homework. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries and communicating exactly what your expectations are and what the repercussions will be if her grades start slipping. But rather than doing the work for her, let your child learn the the best way – by making old fashioned mistakes and suffering the consequences.

Being book smart does not make a person a genius. It takes much more than that – creativity for one. Do you know someone who is precise and rigid, yet flat in the creativity department?  This is the sort of person who is excessively organized and gets everything done on her list. She has perfect handwriting. Her grades were perfect in school. Her home is always tidy. She always knows where everything she owns is located.

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This is what I call the “Overachiever.” But she is not a true genius. She is devoid of creativity. She cannot go with the flow; she is inflexible. If her plans change, she is nervous. She needs to have things “just so.”  She is the kind of person you’d want to have as your surgeon, your organizer or your hair stylist. But she would not be a good president of a company, the President of the United States or a teacher.

The Overachiever can be an accomplished musician, playing Chopin flawlessly, exactly the way it was written to be played. But he is not a genius like Chopin because he is a technician, rather than an artist. Don’t get me wrong; the overachiever is to be well respected for his diligence, reliability and commitment to excellence. Who ever said one must be a genius to be respected? There is a lot to be said for doing a job well, and many overachievers are super successful. Yet they are not geniuses.

My own definition of a true “Genius” is one who is well-rounded rather than lopsided. A math whiz with no social skills in my definition, is not a true Genius. A true genius possesses all these factors:

• Has a naturally high IQ
• Is curious about everything
• Is creative
• Is flexible and open-minded
• Has people skills
• Is mature
• Has a sense of humor
• Has the drive to get things done
• Is a non-conformist (and no, this does not mean tattooing and piercing your face)

Possessing all of these factors is rare. How many do you have? How many do your children have? How many people do you know who has all of them?

I had a dog trainer come to my house today to help me train little Darwin, the “Play Biting Monster.” It turns out that I’m the one who got trained. After all, what the human does, results in how the dog behaves. My actions, hysteria (or lack thereof) directly resulted in what Darwin did. Essentially I got trained in how to calmly and lovingly) change his undesirable behavior. I learned how to teach him how to play with me, rather than nip at me. I’ve got to be consistent, and good puppy behavior won’t happen overnight. It takes time and discipline on my part.

Does this sound familiar?

It should.

I hate to compare canine “children” to human children, but there are similarities. The kind of pet we ultimately have depends mostly upon our diligence and discipline. The same holds true with our kids. Of course mother nature has something to do with it too – personalities and genetics are just what they are. But bad behavior is something that can be prevented or changed with the right consequences – both the child’s and and the parent’s.

We’ve also seen the quintessential brat having a fire-engine red temper tantrum at a store. The next time you see that, pay more attention to the parent than the child. You’ll see that the parent will be the one who needs to be trained to discipline his or her child effectively and consistently.

Undisciplined children (and puppies) make for the most unpleasant, unhappy and unproductive adults.

I’ll let you know how the rest of my training goes.

If your elementary age child is struggling with reading, try a fun, indirect approach!

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1. Bake or cook something together and have your child read the recipe with you.
2. Have your child read traffic and street signs for you while in the car.
3. Pull out some old letters or cards you have and read them together.
4. Buy a kid’s activity book and do some fun games together.
5. Look for misspellings together in the newspaper or magazines.
6. Write a silly poem together and then have your child read it to the family.
7. Watch a movie you know your child will love and then do some research online or in the library on the actors or the subject of the movie.
8. Get a hobby kit of some sort and read the directions together.
9. Plan a trip and read with your child about where are going and what you’ll do there.
10. Take out the comics section from the Sunday paper and read away.

I love Halloween! And I adore pumpkins!

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Here are some great websites for you to check out….

World Record Pumpkin Pie

World’s Largest Pumpkin 2009

How to Grow Your Own Pumpkins

Tons of Pumpkin Recipes!

Health Benefits of Pumpkins

Pumpkin Costumes for Everyone in the Family

Pumpkin Carving Pattterns

You know that feeling when you meet a family for the first time and you instantly hit it off with them, knowing you will fast become good friends? Well, that happened to me while at the NCGE conference in San Juan last week. I met Theresa Blain, owner of Visualize World Geography, which teaches students to visualize nations by turning the world into memorable shapes. Theresa and her husband Gregg, homeschool their two talented sons, Hunter (age 14) and Gregory (age 12). The family lives on a sprawling ranch in Western Texas, and the boys recently took it upon themselves to start keeping bees on their property. Naturally, I was curious about this and just had to ask them all about it. Beekeeping is fascinating!

Gregory (left) and Hunter (right) Blain suit up for their beekeeping duties on their Texas ranch

What made you decide to become beekeepers?

Hunter and Gregory: We were talking to our parents about multiple land uses of the ranch. Beekeeping came up as a possibility because it is compatible with cattle raising – our main use of land. Also, wild hives were infiltrating some of our barns, and had to be moved. This indicated that the ranch was a good bee habitat, and if we did become beekeepers, we could then have better control of where the hives would be located, and also receive the benefit of collecting honey.

How did you figure out what you needed to do to get started keeping bees?

Hunter: We read books on the subject, like “The Hive and the Honeybee,” and we asked older beekeepers for advice.

Gregory: I read a lot of descriptions of products in bee catalogs.

What kind of equipment is necessary to keep bees?

Gregory: I wouldn’t go without a bee suit—which includes gloves, a veil, a hat, and a full body suit. Plus you need a smoker, and a hive tool (a hive tool is just a strangely shaped pry bar). Each apiary has a couple of large hives, some smaller ones on top called supers, and a queen excluder between them to keep the queen from laying eggs in the honey comb. Also, make sure to bring an extra empty hive with empty frames to store good honey for transport and processing.

Hunter: You need an extractor to spin the honey off the frames, a capping scratcher to remove the wax caps from the cells, bottles, and a sanitary work environment. We use a hot plate, two stainless steel filters—one fine, one coarse, and different stainless pots, trays, and funnels. We wrap our extractor with heat tape to make the honey flow faster. A comb cutter is helpful if you are packaging the honey with the comb.

The beekeepers hard at work

How many apiaries do you have?

Gregory: We have two completed apiaries, and another area fenced off and ready for bees.

Did you attract your bees or purchase them?

Hunter: The two completed apiaries have purchased bees, while the other bees will come from a wild hive that is in a bad spot, and must be moved for safety reasons.

Gregory: You can domesticate a wild beehive by moving the queen bee into a man-made hive.

Do you have any idea how many bees live in your hive(s)?

Gregory: We have tens of thousands, round about, but it would take a while to “bee” exact and count them.

Hee, Hee. I am glad to know that beekeepers have a keen sense of humor! Do you need permission from your town or some sort of a permit to keep bees on a residential property?

Hunter: Because our hives are outside city limits, they have no jurisdiction over our operation. However, we do report our hives and honey production to the USDA for statistical purposes.

That is so cool that you do that! I’ve read that bees need a large water source to make honey and keep their hives cool. How do you provide your bees with water?

Hunter: Although water is not a major factor in cooling the hives (bees use their wings like cordless, portable fans), water is very important to make honey. Currently, the bees obtain their water from ponds about a quarter mile away. However, we decided that for this upcoming season, we will put 55 gallon drums of water next to each hive, making sure to cut just a small hole on top of each drum so that not much more than our bees can get into them. Giving the bees a water source right next to their hives will mean less of the bees’ time will be spent retrieving water, and more bees can be dedicated to gathering nectar, and producing honey.

That’s brilliant! Where is the pollen source coming from for your bees?

Gregory: Bees gather nectar from flowers—for the bees, moving pollen around is accidental. Our bees gather from wildflower patches that vary from year to year. Another important source is mesquite trees.

How long does it take your bees to make a jar’s worth of honey?

Hunter: Our honey production is rising as the hives become more established. This is because the bees do not have to re-make the wax cells from scratch. This year, we harvested about 110 pounds of honey.

Yum. How do you safely get the honey out of the hive?

Greogory: Make sure you zip your bee suit up completely. Use smoke to keep the bees calm and off the honey; use the hive too—check for honey content and bee larvae called brood. Honey comb with brood must be left in the hive. The hive contains a number of wooden frames—separate pieces on which the bees construct their comb. We put the good frames in an extra empty hive and drive away. The wandering bees eventually head back to their own hive.

Does it look the same as the honey we buy at the store?

Hunter: It looks about the same, except the color may vary depending on which flowers are predominant that year. Our honey tends to be sweeter because it isn’t made from a single flower type, or an agricultural crop.

What do you do with the honey?

Hunter: We bottle it, and then we eat it, give it to friends; we even sell some too.

Hunter proudly displays the honey collected from the beehives

Have either of you ever been stung?

Gregory: One time, my veil was slightly unzipped, and 6 or 7 bees unexpectedly got in. It was fine for a while, until one crawled into my left nostril. That’s when I started running. The quick reaction disturbed the bees and I found myself at a curve in the road about half a mile away, just about lost. As I mentioned before, always make sure your bee suit is completely zipped!

That must have been rather scary! What have you learned about bees that surprised you since you started doing this?

Hunter: The Africanized bees are amazingly aggressive. They form a dense black cloud and sting everything in sight.

Gregory: Bees can sting multiple times on most animals. Human skin traps the stinging organ, which is fatal for the bee.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about bees with our readers?

Hunter: After the initial set up costs, and the first year’s experience, beekeeping is easy and inexpensive. It is true that building fences and assembling hives require hard work, and that a good extractor can be pricey, but if you are going to raise bees, you have to think of them as a long-term deal.

Gregory: Dadant and Sons, a beekeepers supply company, has good, introductory books and a lot of the things you would need to get started.

Hunter and Gregory, I cannot thank you enough for sharing all your knowledge with us. I learned so much about keeping bees. Please keep us informed about your progress with the beehives and any other fascinating new projects you take on. With curiosity such as yours, I am sure there will be many other exciting adventures in your future!

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Today President Obama spoke to the nation from Wall Street about our financial crisis, undoubtedly the worst since the Great Depression. It is one year since the collapse of Lehman Brothers. The word is that we are making progress, but the economy is nowhere near stable. For the millions out of jobs and losing their homes, there is no sense of stability yet.

Listening to Obama speak made me think about financial responsibility. Our nation did not get into this mess overnight. And no one person or organization is to blame. Families did not lose their homes to foreclosure overnight either. We all know there has been exhaustive discussion in the media regarding just exactly it was that put us in this catastrophic financial mess. Now we need to focus on making significant changes so history does not repeat itself.

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Here’s what I know:

1. Growing up in a middle class family in the 1960s, most kids did not receive nearly the volume and cost of gifts kids receive today-  not even the “rich” kids. At Christmas, there were 1 or 2 gifts for each child.
2. If a child wanted something, he had to work for it.
3. Most people did not live in huge homes like they do today.
4. Many families had only one car. Very few teens had their own cars.
5. Americans did not consume nearly the volume of goods they do today.
6. People were more grateful and seemed happier to me then.

So what happened?

1. We got sucked in by mass marketing efforts.
2. We wanted what others were having.
3. We lost our focus about what is important.
4. We got greedy.
5. We got used to having much more than we need.

So what can we do today to make sure our children do not become a credit crisis statistic when they are young adults?

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1. When they are in elementary school, talk to them about money and how difficult it is to make for most people.
2. Set up some type of a savings plan for your kids from birth.
3. By the middle school years, show them your check book and explain the simple facts about paying bills.
4. Explain how credit cards work and how the interest multiplies when you do not pay off your balance each month.
5. For high school age kids, talk about the basics of our mortgage crisis and how homeowners signed loans they did not fully understand and how their lack of control of spending led them down a destructive path. Tell them about the bad decisions banks made.
6. Be frank with them about the statistics of debt in America. It is easy to find data online.
7. If you are an overspender yourself, show your kids how you are making changes – no matter what their age may be. If your kids see that you buy everything you want when you want it, and you overbuy for them, they will be under the false impression that there are no spending limits.
8. Give your children chores and reward them in small ways when they do their jobs well.
9. Have your children work toward special gifts – a new computer, musical instrument, ipod, etc.
10. Raise your kids to be grateful for what is important. Achieve this two ways: 1) by you being grateful yourself and 2) by you and other family members not spoiling them with gifts and goods.
11. Work as family on downsizing. Less clothing, less gadgets, less shopping, less consuming. Less waste. My saying is that “More should be taken out of your house than is brought in.”
12. Experience the rewards of giving as a family. Rather than buying every member of the family 10 or 20 Christmas gifts, buy 1 or 2 modestly priced gifts and spend some time or money on needy families in your community. You don’t have to wait for the holidays for giving. People need food and clothing year round.
13. Shift the focus of your family from consuming to enjoying the simple things. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to have a lot of fun together.

There’s that cliche: “The best things in life are free.”

Something we should all consider.

I love KidsTurnCentral.com. It’s a popular, adorable, entertaining, educational, safe place for kids to be. And I have to tell you, I’ve found my 48-year-old-self addicted to clicking on links, playing the games and browsing the site for great info. I’m sure I’m not the only Mom or children’s book author who cannot stop using this site either.

Wendy Hogan started the site back in 2001 to offer a completely safe place for kids to go online. Over the years it has developed into what you see today, through Wendy’s dedication to giving her loyal readers what they really want. The site is colorful, easy to use and uncluttered. (I despise hodgepodged, overly busy websites,)

There are so many ways to entertain and educate kids here. The Games Tab offers endless hours of fun puzzles from sliders and crosswords to jigsaws and maze and everything in between. I started doing some of the slider puzzles, and it was hard to stop. Find yourself stumped about what to do with your kids on a rainy day? Click on the Color Tab and print out page after page of cute pictures to color. You can choose by themes, holidays and more.

Speaking of Holidays, just click on the Holidays Tab, choose a holiday and find dozens of activities relating to it. You’ll find history, trivia,  crafts relating to the holiday and more. And since I am a big fan of crafts, I absolutely love the Craft Tab. It offers tons of creative projects such as costume making, paper maiche, tie dye, leaf pressing, Christmas crafts and tons more. You can also find a nice collection of clipart you can use for free with a link back to the site. You can also click on a list of contests for kids, including our very own “I Love Costa Rica’s Rainforest!” Contest.

If all this entertainment weren’t enough, click on the Hot Topics Tab to find info galore on the latest news for kids, science, seasons, genealogy, how to manage money, babysitting tips, sports and buckets more. At the bottom of each page there are darling icons to click on that bring you to even more pages of educational fun.

With Kids Turn Central, parents will never run out of really cool ideas to entertain their children. We commend Wendy for putting together such a fun and essential place for kids to go and get their creative juices flowing.

I love to talk to my daughter about unusual topics. And I mean weird. Last night we discussed humans walking upright, versus on all fours. The other night it was all about how amazing our skin is, keeping us altogether, so to speak.

Here are 6 questions to pose for conversations that will really make you and your children think:

1. What if we could not read? What would be missing out on?
2. What if there is another planet out there, with humans living on it,  we do not yet know about?
3. What if every single person in America were well educated? Would that pose any challenges for our society?
4. What if everyone sees different colors, but we do not know it because we see what we see.
5. What if you could ask the President of the USA for one favor? What would that be?
6. What was life like before computers, cell phones, ipods and even CDs? (Tell your kids about typing papers in college on onion skin paper!)