This morning I sat in a Starbucks, drinking iced tea (and trying to ignore a loud, obnoxious man sitting near me) while reviewing a book about Teddy Roosevelt for LA Parent Magazine. Roosevelt’s life was fascinating – his passions, ideals, tragedies and triumphs.  I really got into reading about him when it suddenly hit me that there’s so much to learn about everything. No matter how many books I read, how much research I do, there’s an infinite amount of intriguing facts I just don’t know, but desperately want to know.

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A person could spend two lifetimes just becoming an expert on US Presidents alone. But I cannot focus on just one thing. There are too many fascinating subjects. For instance, I’d love to be an entomologist and study insects in detail. Or a forensic scientist and solve crimes using DNA. Of course I want to know all about the world – people, places, cultures, natural wonders and mysteries yet to be solved. And I long to discover facts about famous artists, scientists, writers and successful business people. And the list goes on.

Until I can figure out how to get an endless amount of knowledge into my brain, I’ll keep absorbing as much information as possible about any and everything I can get my hands on.

This fascinating video delves into the mind and the perception of time and how our children view things differently than we do.

An article in the NY Times this week describes the extremes colleges are now going to to prevent and catch cheaters. It’s rather shocking. Cheating starts at a young age and festers into adulthood. Here are some of the factors that go into creating cheaters.

Children who do the following are more likely to cheat:

• have ultra competitive parents who pressure their children to excel or are compared to others who do well.
• have parents who are never satisfied with their accomplishments.
• have an overachieving sibling who is older and is compared to that sibling by parents and others.
• have cheating parents – cheat on their taxes, cheat on their spouses, cheat others in business.
• are involved in highly competitive sports with competitive coaches.
• attend a very competitive school with competitive peers.
• attend a university where they are ranked.
• who are overwhelmed by their work load.
• have access to the internet on their cell phones.
• have cheated before and got away with it or were caught but suffered little or no consequences.
• see how easy it is for others to do it.

So how do you raise a child to resist the temptation to cheat?

• Get your own practices in check. Are you a cheater even in “subtle” ways? Are you ultra competitive?
• Often parents push because they want their child to accomplish what they did not have the motivation to do themselves. That is a common situation among most parents, however it is important to be realistic about what your child can do and wants to do.
• Watch what you say and hint to your children. “Wow, Tommy got a perfect score on that test you struggled with, so it can be done if you try harder, Son.” “Great job. Maybe next time you can do even better!”
• Be mindful of your body language and facial expressions when your children are sharing good news with you.
• Don’t push sports on your children if they are not interested. If they do love sports, don’t make it everything. Constantly talking about winning or a mistake a child made in a game is a huge mistake.
• Encourage your child to participate in some activities and hobbies that are not competitive.
• Don’t pressure your child to take accelerated classes or a workload that is too difficult for him. Don’t push the Gifted Program if is not the right fit for your child.
• Don’t fight for your child’s grades at school and contest teachers’ decisions unless it is absolutely necessary, and rarely will that be the case.
• Do talk to your child from an early age about cheating, and that you will not condone it for any reason, no matter what others are doing.

If your child is caught cheating or you yourself discovers that she cheated, take immediate action. Make sure the consequences fit the crime.

Please check out my new article on Wandering Educators, “I Saw it in a Museum.” I wrote about my top 5, most inspirational  museum visits of all time. I think you’ll enjoy it!

Happy Earth Day!!!

What is Earth Day anyway? It is a special day set aside to encourage people to appreciate the earth’s natural resources and help preserve the environment. It is celebrated on April 22nd each year.

So what can you do with your kids to celebrate this important day?

1. Go to Earthday.org and search for special events in your community. There are so many activities going on through the country today, and this website let’s you search events by zip code.
2. Do some gardening. Plant a tree, buy some seeds for an organic vegetable garden or just plan out your ideas with your kids for a summer garden.
3. Clean up. Volunteer to pick up garbage on your street on the beach, at a park or somewhere else near your home.
4. Learn something new together. Check out a book from the library, or go online to learn about global warming, pollution, consumer use of natural resources or the truth about our world’s diminishing rain forests. Learn about using renewable resources to build homes and products we use every day.
5. Do a craft. Make a wreath for your front door using natural things you find outside. Paint a rock. Recycle some materials into a beautiful craft, like the ones here on Kaboose.com.
6. Visit a museum or a zoo. Find a museum in your city that has an environmental or plant exhibit, or go to your local zoo to learn about how animals other than humans rely on natural resources to survive.
7. Write a story together. Your kids will love writing a story about the rain forest, plants and animals or saving the earth. You can illustrate it too.
8. Send a letter. Have your child write a letter to a congress person or local official about the importance of preserving the earth. You may just get a reply.
9. Eat outside. Celebrate the earth with a healthy, all natural picnic dinner at a park or right in your own back yard.
10. Be thankful. Make a list of all the beneficial aspects of a clean world as well as all the things you could no longer do without some of our natural resources.

Every day should be Earth Day! Now go out there and enjoy it!

As a children’s book author, I am often asked, “How Can I tell if my young child is gifted?”

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There are many possible signs:

• Love of books – Gifted kids love when their parents read them books, and they can sit still through a short story. They will often ask for books as gifts and you will see them sitting and looking at their books on their own. They will also generally start to read on their own at age 4 or 5.
• Curiosity – Asking a lot of questions about many topics is a common every day occurrence for gifted children. You can see their wheels turning in their little brains as you answer their questions.
• Broad Vocabulary -  If you notice your toddler is using “big” words for his age or is very creative in his choice of words, that is an obvious sign of intelligence.
• Talent – Does your child draw well, have an interest in a musical instrument, often perform for you? These too are signs of a gifted child.
• Hobbies – A highly intelligent child will have a variety of interests and will likely have a collection of sorts – coins, rocks, shark teeth, stamps, marbles, etc.
• Concentration – Gifted children are active like other children but ca also concentrate on tasks for a longer period of time than their peers.
• Memory – A gifted child remembers a great number of facts and events and may shock you when she gets older when she mentions details she remembers from her toddler years.
• Insight – Many gifted children are wise well beyond their years. They may be more sensitive to others’ emotions or even offer advice that is so mature for their age it will take you by surprise.
• Desire to be with Older Children and Adults – Bright children, even those as young as 3 or 4 enjoy listening to good conversation. They may prefer to hang out with older kids or sit in on a conversation adults are having.

Parents can generally tell if their child is an advanced learner. If one or both of a child’s parents are gifted, it makes sense that the child may be as well. In any event, a child does not have to be “gifted” to be ultra successful in life. We’ve all known very intellectual yet lazy people as well as ultra successful adults who showed no sign of being gifted as a child.

Success is mostly about motivation and getting along with others.

Parents with children of different ages talk to me about school. The most common concern among these parents is homework; their children are not self disciplined enough to get the work done on their own.

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The question is, when should you, as a parent stop reminding your child to get his homework done and when should stop helping him actually do it? I asked this question of 1st-3rd grade Montessori teacher, Rachel Pulido, who has more than 30 years of teaching experience.  “By third grade, an average student should be able to do her homework on her own, without being reminded. It’s normal for parents to want to step in, but it is better if children in third grade and higher suffer the consequences of not getting their work done. Otherwise they will not learn to be independent and self motivated.”

This is great advice. While it may be upsetting for parents to watch a child’s grade slump, this is the best way for the student to learn self discipline.”Middle school students should be completely self sufficient about managing their assignments. It’s fine for them to ask for help at times, but they should not be guided by their parents or reminded about deadlines.”

As far as children with learning disabilities, Ms. Pulido said, “This is a different story. No matter what the age of the child, you will have to be more involved. If not, the student may disconnect and lose interest, because the work may be too overwhelming.”

Not long ago, I watched a news segment about a healthy, normal 6th grade boy, who severely lacked confidence. It turned out that his mother was obsessed with him getting everything correct on his homework and excelling on all his tests. She laid out his work on the dining room table, sat him down and watched and pointed as he filled in worksheets. She checked every answer, read his textbooks, quizzed him excessively and called teachers often to ask questions. The stress this created for him was insurmountable. He was afraid to try anything on his own without the approval of his mom, including making the simplest decisions (like what flavor of  ice cream he should order). His well-meaning, yet controlling mother created a helpless, insecure, unhappy child. A counselor worked with her to show her how her controlling actions were detrimental to her son.

While this is an extreme case, it is representative of a common problem. So unless your child has a learning disability, let her face the consequences of slacking off with homework. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries and communicating exactly what your expectations are and what the repercussions will be if her grades start slipping. But rather than doing the work for her, let your child learn the the best way – by making old fashioned mistakes and suffering the consequences.

Being book smart does not make a person a genius. It takes much more than that – creativity for one. Do you know someone who is precise and rigid, yet flat in the creativity department?  This is the sort of person who is excessively organized and gets everything done on her list. She has perfect handwriting. Her grades were perfect in school. Her home is always tidy. She always knows where everything she owns is located.

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This is what I call the “Overachiever.” But she is not a true genius. She is devoid of creativity. She cannot go with the flow; she is inflexible. If her plans change, she is nervous. She needs to have things “just so.”  She is the kind of person you’d want to have as your surgeon, your organizer or your hair stylist. But she would not be a good president of a company, the President of the United States or a teacher.

The Overachiever can be an accomplished musician, playing Chopin flawlessly, exactly the way it was written to be played. But he is not a genius like Chopin because he is a technician, rather than an artist. Don’t get me wrong; the overachiever is to be well respected for his diligence, reliability and commitment to excellence. Who ever said one must be a genius to be respected? There is a lot to be said for doing a job well, and many overachievers are super successful. Yet they are not geniuses.

My own definition of a true “Genius” is one who is well-rounded rather than lopsided. A math whiz with no social skills in my definition, is not a true Genius. A true genius possesses all these factors:

• Has a naturally high IQ
• Is curious about everything
• Is creative
• Is flexible and open-minded
• Has people skills
• Is mature
• Has a sense of humor
• Has the drive to get things done
• Is a non-conformist (and no, this does not mean tattooing and piercing your face)

Possessing all of these factors is rare. How many do you have? How many do your children have? How many people do you know who has all of them?

I had a dog trainer come to my house today to help me train little Darwin, the “Play Biting Monster.” It turns out that I’m the one who got trained. After all, what the human does, results in how the dog behaves. My actions, hysteria (or lack thereof) directly resulted in what Darwin did. Essentially I got trained in how to calmly and lovingly) change his undesirable behavior. I learned how to teach him how to play with me, rather than nip at me. I’ve got to be consistent, and good puppy behavior won’t happen overnight. It takes time and discipline on my part.

Does this sound familiar?

It should.

I hate to compare canine “children” to human children, but there are similarities. The kind of pet we ultimately have depends mostly upon our diligence and discipline. The same holds true with our kids. Of course mother nature has something to do with it too – personalities and genetics are just what they are. But bad behavior is something that can be prevented or changed with the right consequences – both the child’s and and the parent’s.

We’ve also seen the quintessential brat having a fire-engine red temper tantrum at a store. The next time you see that, pay more attention to the parent than the child. You’ll see that the parent will be the one who needs to be trained to discipline his or her child effectively and consistently.

Undisciplined children (and puppies) make for the most unpleasant, unhappy and unproductive adults.

I’ll let you know how the rest of my training goes.

If your elementary age child is struggling with reading, try a fun, indirect approach!

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1. Bake or cook something together and have your child read the recipe with you.
2. Have your child read traffic and street signs for you while in the car.
3. Pull out some old letters or cards you have and read them together.
4. Buy a kid’s activity book and do some fun games together.
5. Look for misspellings together in the newspaper or magazines.
6. Write a silly poem together and then have your child read it to the family.
7. Watch a movie you know your child will love and then do some research online or in the library on the actors or the subject of the movie.
8. Get a hobby kit of some sort and read the directions together.
9. Plan a trip and read with your child about where are going and what you’ll do there.
10. Take out the comics section from the Sunday paper and read away.