http://school.discoveryeducation.com

You may have read a story about a boy who is 13 and is trying to reach the peak of Mount Everest. Here’s an article about it in thr NY Times. This young man is risking his life to stake the claim that he is the youngest person to ever reach the peak (his father is on the journey with him). Is it worth it? I suppose if he safely makes it there and back, he’ll sure think so. But soon after he celebrates, someone will come along and blow his record away. “Toddler Climbs Mount Everest Alone in One Week in Diapers.”

There’s another story about a young man named Adam Wheeler who allegedly faked all of his academic records (and claimed to have a perfect SAT score) to get into Harvard and obtain scholarships and grants. He allegedly lied about where he went to college and faked transcripts. He even falsely claimed to author and co-author a long list of books. His ability to fool the pros (for a while) gave him opportunities that should have gone to other authentically accomplished students. Rather than achieving, this young man seemed to be spending his energy scheming. Just imagine if he had put all this effort into actually doing well in school rather than lying! Was there pressure on him by his parents to achieve? How did they not know he was lying to get in? Is he just an extreme example of what the pressure can do to be the best and the brightest?

As a parent of a child who just graduated from high school and survived the college app process, I can tell you that competition among children is getting fiercer and fiercer. When I was graduating from high school, outstanding students never paid for college; they received countless scholarship opportunities. Now there are so many superstar students, not only do colleges not need to offer them scholarships, they don’t even need to accept them into their schools. Students graduate from high school today with a long list of AP credits, academic distinctions, perfect test scores, essay awards, thousands of community service hours, music and dance competitions and on and on.

When is there time to be a kid when you are spending so much time trying to be perfect? Attempting to be better than everyone else in some way? Does all this overachieving really pay off or is there a price to be paid for it?

Here’s my daughter’s high school graduation cake I made, honoring her soon to be college days .  .  .

Please check out my new article on Wandering Educators, “I Saw it in a Museum.” I wrote about my top 5, most inspirational  museum visits of all time. I think you’ll enjoy it!

“The Coming Melt-Down in Higher Education”

(as Seen by a Marketer)

Read it here.

Now that our daughter has completed the college application process, and has accepted an offer from UPenn, we can take a humongous sigh of relief. The process was so exhausting that we all have taken a vow not to use the “C” word here any more. (Yes, “C” word = College.) Applying to college is an arduous, stressful process no matter what you do – even if you take a laid-back approach. What am I saying? There is no laid-back approach to applying to college! The more advanced your child is academically, the more competition she will face, because most of the top universities are small and the demand is high. Here’s what I know from my experience:

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1. Don’t Brag – No matter how talented you may be academically or in your extracurricular activities, save the bragging for your own ears. There is someone else who is smarter, more talented, more outstanding in some way. Yes, you are wonderful, as are countless others. Today, the truth is that brainy, accomplished kids are a dime a dozen. Colleges are not going to be astounded when you visit and list your accomplishments (unless perhaps, you have cured cancer. FYI – if this were the case, you would not need to go to college). The admissions people have heard and seen it all already. You may be the top student at your school, but there are tens of thousands of high schools in the US alone.
2. Weed through stacks of info and brochures – Excellent high school students receive an outrageous amount of college brochures, postcards, letters and emails. Even not-so-great students will receive these. You will get onto mailing lists as you take the PSAT. It can be overwhelming and flattering to receive this much mail from top colleges. Save the info from the places that interest you, but be realistic. Just because you get an invitation to apply does not mean you will be accepted.  You are not the only one receiving stacks of mail. (We just recycled over 50 lbs of brochures, and that does not include the hundreds we tossed as they came in the mail over the past 3+ years.)
3. Stay ahead of the game – Each college app takes a great deal of time to complete. Check the colleges’ essay topics at the end of your junior year, and start writing a few good essays about yourself during the summer. You can tweak and rework them later, but at least you will have the basics down.
4. Get with it about the Acceptance Numbers -  According to the US Census Bureau, the population of the USA in 1950 was around 161 million. Today it is around 310 million. That means a whole lot more students are graduating from high school than ever before. Ivy League and many other top universities today still have the same number of spots for students as they had way back then. This year around 30,500 students applied to Harvard (as written in the Harvard Crimson) as compared to half that number some time in the late 1990′s. This means, due to the sheer rise in numbers, many of the students who got accepted 10 years ago, today would be rejected with the same credentials. Only around 2,000 get accepted each year for a class of around 1,600. Thousands of valedictorians and perfect 800 SAT scorers get rejected in top schools. There are 8,000 National Merit Scholar Finalists each year in this nation, yet total student acceptances at the top 25 schools are a mere fraction of that number And no college is going to fill up its class with all valedictorians, all merit scholars or all star football players for that matter. There is a desire for diversity. The US Census bureau reported that about 3.3 million high school seniors graduated last year. That equates to around 33,000 students in the USA in the top 1%. (Remember too, students can apply from all over the world.) There’s simply is not enough room for every star student at every star university. The reality is there are a multitude of stories about “near perfect” students with exceptional talents getting rejected. This is no longer shocking, rather just the norm.
5. Understand the inefficiency of the numbers game – Since more and more students are applying to more and more schools, the application process is becoming less and less efficient for students and colleges. Colleges have to assume the students they are accepting are also accepted at several other top schools. Each student can only accept one invitation. So many of the students accepted at any given school will decline the offer. This also results in students spending hundreds of hours on extra applications. Since it is so hard to get in, students feel the need to apply to more schools. Waiting lists are getting longer and longer as well, but this is not good news for those waiting. (See, we’re going round and round in a loop here.) The only way I think this process could be improved would be if colleges started to post minimum academic requirements for applicants, thus reducing the total number of apps, and I don’t believe this will ever happen.
6. The truth about test scores and essays – Good test scores are very important, but they are not everything. Long gone are the days when a student with a perfect 2400 on the SAT but with many mediocre B’s and C’s on his report card is sought after. There are countless students who have both top scores and grades, so if your grades do not match your scores, do not be at all shocked when you are rejected. After all, we’ve already established that many with the scores, grades and other talents are rejected. As far as essays, I believe they are important, but they are not everything. If you write a killer essay but your grades are not fantastic, you won’t likely impress the reader. No one factor is “it” at any school. There is so much competition that all factors need to be weighed. Plus we all have to wonder if a just a few admissions officers at one university really have the time to read tens of thousands of essays?
7. Each college has its own acceptance process and you will never know the inside details about how it all works – The secret of what it takes to get into a particular university is that there are no secrets. What a group of admissions officers is looking for will vary from school to school and from year to year. It appears that the vast majority of colleges do not just look for pure brains; it is all too common for a stronger student to get rejected over another student for some unknown reason to the general public. Most schools will tell you they seek a well-rounded student body  – not necessarily a well-rounded student. This means that they want each member of their freshmen class to be unique in some way (academics, athletics, music, other talents, awards, race, culture, socioeconomic background, hardships, areas of study, legacy, financial donations, and more). And as far as having connections to universities and admissions officers, I have a hunch that plays a role in the acceptance numbers too. It’s common sense that connections are part of business success, so why not college too?
8. Be realistic about your choices - Your high school guidance office should tell you what colleges are realistic for your achievements. Everyone should apply to one “dream school,” but for example, if you are not strong in math,  why waste your time and the college’s time by applying to a top engineering school? If math is not your strength anyway, you would not thrive or even enjoy your college years in a program like that.
9. Apply to numerous schools – This means more  work and essays on your part. But you can only apply once and be accepted once. Many top schools have discontinued their transfer student programs. And those who do take transfer students receive many thousands of applications for just a tiny number of spots. And while you are at it, be sure to keep a written list of all your user names and passwords for each school, as they will all be different. You will need to log in repeatedly to check your application status.
10. Be open-minded and the right school will find you – If you do your college app job well, at least one “right” school will find you. By applying to numerous schools offering the major and lifestyle you prefer, you are increasing your odds of acceptance. Few students get in everywhere they apply these days. It’s okay to have a favorite, but be open-minded. Often the school that is right for you was not your first pick to start but will be to finish, and you will be excited to attend. Remember, you can only attend one college at a time, and you do not need to get accepted to 20 to pick the right school.
11. Do not attend a university you have never visited – After visiting the website, being familiar with the reputation or receiving positive feedback from other students and alums, you may think a particular school is the best place for you. But until you visit and talk to the staff and students, you cannot really be sure. My daughter experienced this for herself and actually ended up not even applying to one of her initial top choices (after a short visit). She just did not like the campus, the students did not seem all that happy, and she realized she preferred an urban setting. Frankly, both she and I felt depressed just being there. You don’t even need a good reason; if it doesn’t feel right, move on.
12. Think 4 years – When you choose a college, keep in mind that you will be there for 4 years of your life. Pick a place where you feel at home and a sense of community. Don’t pick a school because of the ranking, prestige or because your parents went there or someone else thinks you should go. You have to be excited about it and thrive there for four years of your life. You know you will have to work hard to excel in your classes, but a great deal of your success in college revolves around the happiness factor.
13. Play the waiting game – If you are wait listed, know that you are among many, many others who are also on the list. Some of these lists are many thousands of students long. Most colleges say they do not rank wait-listed students. If they have a need to go to the wait list, they will look at all the applicants and pull from the entire pool. If you are wait-listed, be flattered that you were highly regarded. But do not count on an acceptance. It is unlikely. Some years, some colleges take 0 students off the list. The rumor is that more students are given acceptances these days to compensate for the larger numbers of “no thank yous” colleges get from accepted students. That way colleges are less likely to need to even use the wait list. If you are wait-listed and are still very interested, send an email to the admissions officer expressing your interest and list any new achievements since you applied. Do not repeat what is on your app. Do not beg, or be clever, send gifts, show up at the admissions office and perform an original song or poem, have a lawyer send a letter, have your parents call and push or otherwise be annoying in any way – unless you want a flat-out rejection. It is okay to have someone new write a letter on your behalf, like a teacher or alumni of the university. Beyond that, you need to pick another school and reserve your spot, because you will not hear from the wait list school until long after your May 1 deadline to accept an offer elsewhere. Be excited about the school you choose, because it is a long shot to get off most wait lists. If you no longer want to be on a wait list, let the college know immediately to give another student a chance to get an acceptance.
14. Don’t beg if you don’t get in – If you are denied acceptance to your top choice, hold your head up high. The stories I hear about parents calling admissions offices and demanding to know why their brilliant children were denied acceptance is disturbing. Do you really want to attend a college that did not choose you?  At this point, we’ve already established that a rejection is often not a reflection upon your accomplishments, rather just a numbers game. If you are a wonderful student, a wonderful university will want you. That’s where you should want to go as well – not to a college where you pushed or threatened, or bribed your way inside. (Yes, I read about an admissions officer who was offered to have his mortgage paid off by the parent of a student who was not accepted in exchange for a spot and another parent who had a shiny new Mercedes delivered to the admission officer’s driveway in the middle of the night, wrapped in a big red bow.) Have dignity. No single college is worth stooping so low; there are many incredible colleges in our great nation.
15. Count Your Cash – Most top universities do not offer merit scholarships, because everyone who enters is assumed to be highly accomplished academically. However, some of the prestigious schools are very generous with their need-based financial aid for students from low and middle income families. But don’t kid yourself. If you have enough savings to pay for the first year of college, you’ll likely be expected to pay on your own. Each year you can reapply for financial aid. If your nest egg is depleting from paying for previous years of college, the financial aid may increase the next year. Just don’t apply only to colleges that you cannot afford, assuming you will get a big pile of financial aid. You may be stuck with wonderful acceptances you simply cannot afford. It is wise to apply to a state school as a back-up plan. If you do plan to apply for financial aid to various schools, know that it is an extremely time-consuming process. You will be asked for so much detailed info that you will get to the point where you will expect to be asked for an FBI background check. There is a FAFSA Form, a CSS Form, and many colleges require you fill out their own forms. Triple check the deadlines at each school.
16. Look for scholarships on your own – There are many websites and directories at the library and bookstores about scholarships offered to college students. Weigh the pros and cons. The process is extremely time consuming, and there is a lot of competition. But with diligence, you can be awarded some financial help. Every dollar counts. Do tell the college you are attending about any scholarship you have received. There is a chance it may affect the financial aid they award you.
17. Don’t pay a lot of $ for advice – There are umpteen services out that promise you the “inside secrets to getting into specific schools like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, UPenn, Cornell, Brown, Dartmouth, Columbia, Stanford, UChicago, MIT, Cal Tech etc. And there are many books on the subject. If it sounds too good to be true, then it is. The bottom line is that paying for services is no guarantee of anything. (See number 3 above).
18. Follow through – Make sure you contact all colleges you were accepted to but will not be attending. You will leave a bad impression if you fail to let them know you have accepted another offer. It is rude and selfish, and if you plan to attend grad school there one day, you will not be highly regarded. And many admissions officers from different universities know one another. It’s simply never a good idea to burn bridges. Just put yourself in the shoes of another student who is on the waiting list and is dying to get accepted and take your spot.
19. Celebrate when it’s over – Once you have chosen a college, accepted the offer, rejected the other offers and put your deposit down, take a deep breath and relax. Celebrate your accomplishments. It was a lot of work, but well worth the effort. You’ll get over the rejections; most everyone has them.

It is fabulous if you can get into one of country’s top schools, and you should certainly welcome the opportunity if it should present itself. Just keep in mind you will find highly successful and mega wealthy people who attended local colleges, remote and state universities as well as those who never went to college at all. It may sound cliche, but your success will depend vastly upon your motivation rather than the name of the college where you graduate.

Good luck. You’ll get through this. I promise.

Luckily for me, I have only one child, because I do not care to speak or hear the “C” word ever again.

As a children’s book author, I am often asked, “How Can I tell if my young child is gifted?”

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There are many possible signs:

• Love of books – Gifted kids love when their parents read them books, and they can sit still through a short story. They will often ask for books as gifts and you will see them sitting and looking at their books on their own. They will also generally start to read on their own at age 4 or 5.
• Curiosity – Asking a lot of questions about many topics is a common every day occurrence for gifted children. You can see their wheels turning in their little brains as you answer their questions.
• Broad Vocabulary -  If you notice your toddler is using “big” words for his age or is very creative in his choice of words, that is an obvious sign of intelligence.
• Talent – Does your child draw well, have an interest in a musical instrument, often perform for you? These too are signs of a gifted child.
• Hobbies – A highly intelligent child will have a variety of interests and will likely have a collection of sorts – coins, rocks, shark teeth, stamps, marbles, etc.
• Concentration – Gifted children are active like other children but ca also concentrate on tasks for a longer period of time than their peers.
• Memory – A gifted child remembers a great number of facts and events and may shock you when she gets older when she mentions details she remembers from her toddler years.
• Insight – Many gifted children are wise well beyond their years. They may be more sensitive to others’ emotions or even offer advice that is so mature for their age it will take you by surprise.
• Desire to be with Older Children and Adults – Bright children, even those as young as 3 or 4 enjoy listening to good conversation. They may prefer to hang out with older kids or sit in on a conversation adults are having.

Parents can generally tell if their child is an advanced learner. If one or both of a child’s parents are gifted, it makes sense that the child may be as well. In any event, a child does not have to be “gifted” to be ultra successful in life. We’ve all known very intellectual yet lazy people as well as ultra successful adults who showed no sign of being gifted as a child.

Success is mostly about motivation and getting along with others.

Clip art copyrighted by Bobbie Peachey,
http://webclipart.about.com

I thought it would be interesting to research many different statistics about American children. Here are some of the countless fascinating facts I discovered:

Health

Obesity

In a NHANES II survey of the Prevalence of Obesity in Children ages 2-19 years

• Ages 2 through 5  -  In 1976-1980 study, 5% were obese. In 2003-2006 study, 12.4% were obese.
• Ages 6 through 11  -  In 1976-1980 study, 6.5% were obese. In 2003-2006 study,17.0%were obese.
• Ages 12 through 19 – In 1976-1980 study, 5% were obese. In 2003-2006 study, 17.6% were obese.

Source: http://www.cdc.gov

Autism

Experts estimate that two to six children out of every 1,000 will have autism. Males are four times more likely to have autism than females.

We can estimate that up to 500,000 individuals younger than 21 have autism.

Source: http://autism.emedtv.com

Education

Gifted

The National Association for Gifted Children estimates there are around 3 million academically gifted children in grades K-12 in the U.S. That’s about 6% of the student population.

Source: http://www.nagc.org

Students who study music test better. Those who took courses in music performance and music appreciation scored higher in the SAT than those who did not participate in the arts. Music performance students scored 53 points higher on the verbal and 39 points higher on the math.

Source: http://www.childrensmusicworkshop.com

Literacy

One child in four in the US grows up not knowing how to read.

85 percent of all juveniles who interface with the juvenile court system are functionally illiterate.

Source: http://www.begintoread.com

Attendance

The number of elementary school-age children (ages 5 through 13) declined by 381,000 while the number of their high school-age counterparts (ages 14 through 17) increased by 329,000 between 2003 and 2004.

Graduation

The last census shows that high school graduation rates for women (ages 25 years and older) continued to exceed those of men, 85.4 percent and 84.9 percent, respectively. But 28.9 percent of men had a bachelor’s degree or higher compared to 26.5 percent of women.

Utah, Minnesota, Montana, New Hampshire and Alaska continued to have the highest proportions of people 25 years and older with a high school diploma or higher (around 92 percent).

Source: http://www.census.gov

Smoking, Alcohol and Substance Abuse

Cigarettes

About 40% of adolescents ages 12–17 years have tried smoking cigarettes, including a few puffs, in their lifetime.

Overall, Mexican American adolescents (41%) and non-Hispanic white adolescents (41%) had a higher prevalence of ever having tried smoking cigarettes, compared with non-Hispanic black adolescents (34%)

Alcohol

Sixteen percent of adolescents aged 12–17 years had their first alcoholic drink before age 13. Among those adolescents who had an alcoholic drink, 37% did so before age 13

Eighteen percent of males and 14% of females aged 12–17 years reported drinking before age 13.

Overall, 21% percent of adolescents aged 12–17 years had at least one drink of alcohol during the 30 days before the survey (Table 18).

Females (23%) reported a higher percentage of alcohol use in the past 30 days than males (19%).

Ten percent of adolescents aged 12–17 years had five or more drinks of alcohol in a row within a couple of hours on at least one day during the past month (Table 21).

Females (10%) were as likely as males (11%) to have had five or more drinks of alcohol in a row within a couple of hours on at least one day during the past month.

Non-Hispanic black adolescents (30%) were least likely to have had at least one drink of alcohol, compared with Mexican American adolescents (42%) and non-Hispanic white adolescents (41%).

Marijuana

Approximately 21% of adolescents aged 12–17 years had ever tried marijuana.

Source: http://www.cdc.gov

Teen Sex

Nearly half (46%) of all 15–19-year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once.

Teens are waiting longer to have sex than they did in the past. Some 13% of never-married females and 15% of never-married males aged 15–19 in 2002 had had sex before age 15, compared with 19% and 21%, respectively, in 1995

http://www.guttmacher.org

In 2007, the adolescent birth rate was 22.2 per 1,000 adolescents ages 15–17.

http://www.childstats.gov/pubs/

the total number of missing children reported to the police and entered into the FBI’s National Crime Information Center (NCIC) in 2000 remained at approximately 750,000, or 2,100 children per day, down from 2,200 per day in 1998.

http://www.missingkids.com

Households

There were 12.9 million one-parent families in 2006 — 10.4 million single-mother families and 2.5 million single-father families.

About 5.7 million children, or 8 percent of the total, lived in a household that included a grandparent in 2006. The majority of these children (3.7 million) lived in the grandparent’s home, and of these, about 60 percent had a parent present.

Hispanic and Asian children under 12 were more likely to eat dinner with a parent every day in a typical week than children who were non-Hispanic white or black children.

Source: http://www.census.gov

On September 30, 2006, there were an estimated 510,000 children in foster care.

Source: http://www.childwelfare.gov

Parents with children of different ages talk to me about school. The most common concern among these parents is homework; their children are not self disciplined enough to get the work done on their own.

Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Galleryon www.DiscoverySchool.com

The question is, when should you, as a parent stop reminding your child to get his homework done and when should stop helping him actually do it? I asked this question of 1st-3rd grade Montessori teacher, Rachel Pulido, who has more than 30 years of teaching experience.  “By third grade, an average student should be able to do her homework on her own, without being reminded. It’s normal for parents to want to step in, but it is better if children in third grade and higher suffer the consequences of not getting their work done. Otherwise they will not learn to be independent and self motivated.”

This is great advice. While it may be upsetting for parents to watch a child’s grade slump, this is the best way for the student to learn self discipline.”Middle school students should be completely self sufficient about managing their assignments. It’s fine for them to ask for help at times, but they should not be guided by their parents or reminded about deadlines.”

As far as children with learning disabilities, Ms. Pulido said, “This is a different story. No matter what the age of the child, you will have to be more involved. If not, the student may disconnect and lose interest, because the work may be too overwhelming.”

Not long ago, I watched a news segment about a healthy, normal 6th grade boy, who severely lacked confidence. It turned out that his mother was obsessed with him getting everything correct on his homework and excelling on all his tests. She laid out his work on the dining room table, sat him down and watched and pointed as he filled in worksheets. She checked every answer, read his textbooks, quizzed him excessively and called teachers often to ask questions. The stress this created for him was insurmountable. He was afraid to try anything on his own without the approval of his mom, including making the simplest decisions (like what flavor of  ice cream he should order). His well-meaning, yet controlling mother created a helpless, insecure, unhappy child. A counselor worked with her to show her how her controlling actions were detrimental to her son.

While this is an extreme case, it is representative of a common problem. So unless your child has a learning disability, let her face the consequences of slacking off with homework. There’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries and communicating exactly what your expectations are and what the repercussions will be if her grades start slipping. But rather than doing the work for her, let your child learn the the best way – by making old fashioned mistakes and suffering the consequences.

Being book smart does not make a person a genius. It takes much more than that – creativity for one. Do you know someone who is precise and rigid, yet flat in the creativity department?  This is the sort of person who is excessively organized and gets everything done on her list. She has perfect handwriting. Her grades were perfect in school. Her home is always tidy. She always knows where everything she owns is located.

http://www.school-clipart.com

This is what I call the “Overachiever.” But she is not a true genius. She is devoid of creativity. She cannot go with the flow; she is inflexible. If her plans change, she is nervous. She needs to have things “just so.”  She is the kind of person you’d want to have as your surgeon, your organizer or your hair stylist. But she would not be a good president of a company, the President of the United States or a teacher.

The Overachiever can be an accomplished musician, playing Chopin flawlessly, exactly the way it was written to be played. But he is not a genius like Chopin because he is a technician, rather than an artist. Don’t get me wrong; the overachiever is to be well respected for his diligence, reliability and commitment to excellence. Who ever said one must be a genius to be respected? There is a lot to be said for doing a job well, and many overachievers are super successful. Yet they are not geniuses.

My own definition of a true “Genius” is one who is well-rounded rather than lopsided. A math whiz with no social skills in my definition, is not a true Genius. A true genius possesses all these factors:

• Has a naturally high IQ
• Is curious about everything
• Is creative
• Is flexible and open-minded
• Has people skills
• Is mature
• Has a sense of humor
• Has the drive to get things done
• Is a non-conformist (and no, this does not mean tattooing and piercing your face)

Possessing all of these factors is rare. How many do you have? How many do your children have? How many people do you know who has all of them?

Geography is Anything But Boring!

Have you ever thought about where our basic food comes from? Have your kids ever asked you about it? Just about every time I go to the grocery store, I think about how grateful I am for our farmers who grow all this stuff we eat – the wonderful abundance of fruit, veggies and grains (especially organic!) we have to choose from. I think we all take for granted the work others do to make sure we have healthy food to eat! I grow a few tomato plants in buckets every year and know how much works goes into that. So I can surely appreciate what it takes to feed the world!

One great way to explore the world with your kids is to learn about crop production. The US Department of Agriculture offers some great tables that list crop production from countries all around the world.

http://www.cksinfo.com

I learned some interesting things:

• The US produces the most corn, but India produces a lot more cotton than we do.
• India produces about 66% more rice than China.
• There is a lot of peanut production in the nations of Sub Sahara Africa.
• The US leads the world in soybean production.
• Russia produces more wheat than the US, but India produces more than Russia.

If you look at the data with your children, talk about the reasons different countries grow more of  a crop than other countries do. (Climate, population, land size). Discuss how we all help each other out by supplying food to other nations.

With Thanksgiving just one week away, this is a great time for us all to be thankful for our food!