I despise the clichés, “Time flew by!” and “Where did the time go?” yet as my daughter celebrated her 18th birthday yesterday and is leaving for college in a week, the reality of time is slapping me in the face. Have you ever looked around in a public place and thought, “Look at how many children were born after my child?” I tend to do this often. I wonder if the parents of all those millions of children born after my daughter realize just how fast time will fly before their babies leave home? I’m sure most have no idea just how soon that will be!
This is a real empty nest I found in my back yard. Wonder how the mommy felt?
For obvious reasons, parents tend to put all their efforts into their children, only to be a bit lost when they leave the nest. Which is worse – that we will miss them, or we will not be able to “supervise” them any more? Or is it that we will not know what to do with ourselves without living our lives through them? No more chauffeuring, bag lunches, play dates, running to activities, parent-teacher meetings, inconvenient required school functions, waiting in long lines for report cards, planning around the school calendar, college apps, college visits, financial aid forms. I say “Total bummer!” and “Yeah!” all at the same time. Is it normal to be this confused?
I am not the first parent who will feel the heart-strings tugging when I drop my child off at college, and I will not be the last. I vow to be more excited, than sad, for her academic and social opportunities and independence. After all, we raised her to be independent, responsible and motivated, and now we will get to see the results without any more effort on our parts. Wow, saying that makes me wonder if that a good thing or not?
As for me, I will work more hours, clean the house (I mean really, really clean it) and perhaps take up serious yoga, do more craft work, write another book, (lay in bed all day once in a while) or even take a class – that is when I’m not on the phone with my daughter, waiting for her to call, texting her, waiting for a text back, writing her letters, waiting for a reply or baking her some goodies to ship out.
And oh yes, I vaguely recall a man I live with whom I married some 22 years ago and have neglected for far too long. I can finally spend time with him again.
If he’ll have me.
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4 comments
Donna on August 18, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Yeah, I know what you’re going through. We tried to be more excited than sad too, but ours were only 1 1/2 hr. away. We were proud to have raised independent daughters who could stand on their own two feet. That’s what our role as parents is supposed to be. Be sure to give her some space. I think parents who call or text too much don’t give their child the idea that you trust her to make it on her own.
admin on August 18, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Great advice! And you should know!
Rachel on August 18, 2010 at 11:36 pm
Um… that’s really nice and everything, your plans for taking classes and what not, but I really don’t see how you’ll have time for all that since you’re going to be baking and sending me things at least twice every weekday. Do you have a time management secret I should know about?
And you certainly won’t have to wait for texts and letters back. It will be almost instantaneous
admin on August 19, 2010 at 8:46 am
Yeah! You always say the right thing!