Motherhood is by far the biggest privilege I have ever had. Yesterday – Mother’s Day – got me thinking about what kind of mom and person I am. There’s some good in there, but there’s always room for improvement.

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Me and Rachel

I have always believed that life’s best lessons are learned by both the good and not so wonderful traits of those in our lives along with the positive and negative experiences we have. Sometimes the best way to improve ourselves is to reflect upon the mistakes our parents (or others important to us in our lives) made with us, even though their intentions were good. That way we can be sure (negative) history will not repeat itself.

The same is true for positive traits. We look to our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles as teachers and role models. We can choose to practice in our own lives, the traits we respect about each of them – especially if we take the time to make a conscious effort.

When I visit schools, I tell middle school students that everyone from every background will experience challenges and hardships in their lives. It is easy to blame our parents, other family members or unfortunate events for our personal failures. But what does that accomplish?  We are in control of our actions and thoughts. Though we do not always realize it, on our own we can choose to be giving or selfish, kind or cruel, complimentary or critical, motivated or lazy, curious or indifferent, positive or negative, grateful or unappreciative and good humored or angry.

What positive traits of yours do you see in your children? What do you hope they’d do differently than you did? What choices have you made in your life that you’d like to change for your own personal growth?

It is cliché to say “No one is perfect,” but it’s important to remind ourselves of that. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating the good and working to improve the not-so-good in ourselves.  It will make us better parents and happier people.

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