In the 20 years I have been married, I bet I’ve spent a quarter of my waking life searching for things my husband has lost. Keys, wallets, credit cards, driver’s license, work ID, cell phone, money, papers and his head. For the last 2 days he has been talking about misplacing $200 in cash. This morning he was very upset about it, so I had him retrace his steps. He was certain he had left the cash in a pocket of shorts he was wearing when he rode his bike to the beach this weekend. (Yes, I know it is winter, and it seems strange to ride a bike, but this is Miami and it has been 78 degrees outside all week.)
When he left for work, I started rifling through the laundry, sticking my head in the washer and dryer, searching through all of his shorts pockets, taking the closet apart, looking through stacks of papers, going through the garbage, taking couches apart, crawling on the wood floors looking under furniture, searching through my car, rummaging through the plastic bags that were in the recycling bin and basically tearing the house apart from top to bottom.
After 3 hours of searching, I sent my husband a text. “Yer $ is NOT in this house. Did you look in your wallet?”
15 minutes passed.
“My wallet? Don’t offend my intelligence,” he replied.
“OMG! Does that mean that you actually found the $ in that damn wallet?!” I responded.
“Yes. 
” he answered.
“I SPENT 3 ENTIRE HOURS LOOKING FOR THAT $!” I complained.
“Why did you do that? : ) ” he responded.
‘Roundhouse kick!” I texted back.
My questions are: 1) Are men missing a gene that allows them to be able to find things? 2) Or rather, do men have gene that makes them lose things? 3) Are we raising our sons to lose things?
If you know the answers, I’d love to hear from you.
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3 comments
Tyler R. Tichelaar on February 26, 2009 at 3:57 pm
This is hilarious. I have watched my mom do this for my dad many times. The best hiding place for his car keys was in the lock on the passenger door.
I don’t have this gene yet–well, sometimes with my glasses being misplaced.
Debbie on February 26, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Tyler, glad we could entertain you. You should have been here this morning when we could not locate his ATM/credit card. I had to cancel the card with the bank and order new ones for the entire family. Tell your Mom to put a bowl on a table near the front door just for keys. I spent the first 5 years of my marriage looking for keys, and at least I have resolved that issue with the bowl! My husband has a box I hand painted and compartmentalized for his money, wedding ring, watch and other pocket stuff. This now reminds me how often I have looked for his wedding ring in the past too. Apparently that box is not enough. Men (and boys) just need women to keep them going – whether it is a wife, girlfriend, friend, mother or grandmother does not matter.
Donna on December 19, 2009 at 12:38 am
Every time John has stayed with us, he’s left something behind. I guess he will never change.