We make a REALLY big deal out of Thanksgiving here. And it is a REALLY big production. I am already daydreaming about getting rolled away on a stretcher and taken to a hospital to recover from exhaustion on Friday morning.

This is how it works:

6 weeks before Thanksgiving, we call to invite friends/family over for the holiday dinner.

3 weeks before Thanksgiving my husband, daughter and I have a family meeting to discuss the menu. We take this very seriously. The flavors of homemade ice cream to be made are generally the most intense part of the discussion (this year butter pecan and coconut), followed by the vegetable dishes. There are some recipes that never change, like the turkey, stuffing, gravy, garlic mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.

I read cookbooks and magazines to see if there is a new way of making some of the recipes.

After the family meeting, I make 3 lists. The first is a list of attendees (13 this year). The second is a list of the menu from drinks to dessert. The third is an extensive grocery list. And to make it easier on me, the list is organized by the aisles in the grocery store. There is no point in listing milk next to green beans, because they are at opposite ends of the store. And I don’t want to forget anything and have to go running back when there are 200 people in line at the check out.

2 weeks before the event, I order a fresh turkey (this year 26 pounds) from the Delaware Chicken Farm in Hollywood, FL. They have the best, freshest free-range birds on earth.

On Monday before the holiday, I rearrange the furniture in the dining room and set and decorate the tables. I have to squeeze a bunch of people into a limited space.

On Tuesday morning before the holiday, I get to the grocery store by 7 am. The place is empty! I take my time and follow my list precisely so as not to forget anything. I really enjoy the fact that I do not need to rush or fight crowds and rude shoppers who leave their carts in the center of the aisles on a diagonal.

When I return from the store I spend an hour trying to fit the food in the fridge, while the dog stares at me. She tries to figure out why I am talking to myself so much. Then I make the ice cream and the cranberry sauce. This makes a huge mess.

On Tuesday afternoon, I clean up the front and back patios, so everything looks nice for the guests. Since we live in South FL, we always go outside in the yard after dinner.

On Tuesday night, I review the menu to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything important.

On Wednesday morning, my daughter and I go to pick up the bird at 7am! Enjoying the chaos in this store is part of our family tradition. The Delaware Chicken farm sells about 100,000 turkeys for this holiday! I laugh when the butcher hands over a 26 pounder over the glass case. It is so heavy and bulky, I am always afraid I’ll drop it.

I come home and make all the pies from scratch – apple, pumpkin, pecan and yes, real key lime. (It is a Florida thing!)

I chop huge amounts of celery, onions, garlic and shallots in the food processor and bag them to make my job easier on Thursday.

I clean up after the baking, and this is no fun. I also fight with the refrigerator to try to fit the pies in there.

On turkey day, I am up and working before 6 am, preparing the huge bird, stuffing and all those from-scratch recipes. My family helps me clean the bathrooms, vacuum and put everything away.  We ALWAYS watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade while I am cooking.

I wash dishes as I go and put them all away as I work. The volume of pots, pans, utensils and supplies it takes to prepare this dinner would fill up an entire store.

The company comes at 4, and I serve them mulled apple cider. We eat at 5. We moan because we are stuffed, but eat dessert anyway. My daughter plays piano, my husband pays guitar and sings and then all the women help me clean up and put away the leftovers. This is the only day of the year that “the women” clean up exclusively. Many nights it is my husband who is the phenomenal cleaner in the family… just one more thing for which I have to be grateful. (My husband just edited this. Can you tell?) There are at least 6 people in the kitchen at one time, and we are all bumping into each other. The next morning it takes me hours to put everything away and the the furniture back in its proper place.

Here’s what you need to know about Thanksgiving

  1. You plan for weeks
  2. It costs a lot of $ for the groceries and turkey
  3. You work for days to prepare
  4. You eat it all in less than 1 hour
  5. You clean for hours and hours (actually an entire day)
  6. You consume more calories than you should eat in 4 days during this one meal
  7. You are exhausted for 48 hours afterward
  8. You are hungry the next morning because your stomach is all stretched out from overeating
  9. It’s all worth it. For me, that is, at least until I get too old to do it. And that may be sooner than I think.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY, EVERYONE!

PS: DO NOT get a cholesterol test for at least 30 days after Thanksgiving, or you will be shocked by the results.

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