Since my work revolves around books, reading, writing and learning, I am privy to a lot of discussion about self-motivation and a child’s work ethic in school. It makes me wonder about how a parent can encourage a child to have an excellent work ethic. I have 2 theories abut this:

1. Parents who set a positive example will likely produce the same in their kids – Kids emulate what they see their role models (parents) do (not say) at home. Are you reliable? Do you follow through with everything you promise? Do you generally work hard and offer the most you have to give? Do you often go above and beyond the call of duty when offering your services at work, home or in volunteering? If you said yes to most or all of these questions, then your children are learning by your example. If, on the other hand, you mean well and are enthusiastic but don’t often follow through with your commitments, then your children see that as well. They will be equally as likely as you to follow through or not. So if you are setting a good work ethic example, you will have a better chance of producing offspring who will do the same.

2. Parents who do their children’s work produce offspring with a compromised work ethic – Parents who do EVERYTHING for their kids, can rightfully be said to have a good work ethic. However, their kids will not. Children need self-motivation and confidence in order to have a good work ethic. They will not achieve that as long as someone else is doing everything for them. Why do anything when you know it will be done for you? Take for example the parent who rifles through his or her child’s backpack every day after school, takes out the homework, and then forces the kid to sit down and get busy. This parent leans over the child’s shoulder correcting his worksheet and instructing him what to do next, controlling his every move. This type of parent means well. But what he or she is actually producing is a helpless offspring with low self esteem. Why on earth would a child like this have any motivation to work hard on his own? He knows that his Mom or Dad is going to criticize the work and change it anyway. He might as well just wait for instructions.

So the bottom line is that you need to demonstrate your own work ethic to your children. It is not something you can talk them through and demand from them. Plus you have to respect their independence and let them make their own mistakes. Reward them when they demonstrate discipline and excellence in their work at school and with other commitments. Refrain from doing things for them that they should be doing themselves.

We can only do our best and hope for the best in our kids.

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