My family said goodbye to my Mom yesterday and I wanted to share my tribute to her with you. Thank you to all those who sent us sympathy wishes.

My Mom and I spent a lot of time together in the past 9 years waiting at doctors’ offices and hospitals and observing others of all walks of life in great distress. During that time we had a lot of philosophical conversations about life. We discussed how ironic it is that while you may be receiving bad news or waiting for a life saving surgery, someone else is out there at that same exact time celebrating a big event – like getting married, having a baby or receiving a promotion at work. The truth is that each of us will experience both sides of life’s extremes. When you are filled with joy, you cannot imagine someone else suffering. And when you feel despair, it does not occur to you that there is anyone feeling like celebrating anything. Thinking this way helped both of us enjoy the good times more and just be more grateful.

While spending a lot of time with Pauline one on one, I learned a lot more about her, and I’d like to share my top 10 with you:

1. Mom had a whole lot of patience. She seemed to accept that waiting is a part of life, and this had a calming effect on me. There is nothing worse that waiting for serious test results, but she did so with grace many times.
2. Mom wrote the book on Jewish guilt. Volume 1 (pause) through Volume 10. Debbie, “I know this hard on you, but I need for you to edit this 5th edition of my eulogy I wrote,” she said to me – 7 years ago.
3. Mom had a fabulous sense of humor – There are times when we cracked up when we probably should have been bawling. For instance during her last hospitalization, Aunty Norma and I were waiting for an important procedure to start. The doctors spoke to us in a surgical area and made us all put on these ridiculous puffy blue shower caps with elastic so tight it wrinkled our foreheads. We all had a good laugh and made a scene when I took out my cell phone and started to take pictures of her. After her challenging liver surgery, I recorded a nutty song for her entitled, “I’m Sick of Being Sick,” in my silly cartoon voice and brought it to the hospital. It made her laugh so hard it was painful for her, and she was not very happy with me.
4. Mom practiced a unique combination of determination and ignorance when it came to her illness. This was frustrating for my family at times, but it worked well for her to not really understand – or rather, pay attention to the bottom line. Combine that with toughness greater than you can imagine and what you get is the Bionic Woman.
5. Mom was the most loyal friend, and in return she received the same. Now I am not saying she did not criticize them, tell them they were making bad decisions and lecture them with her hands on her hips. But she loved them unconditionally. Many she knew for 50 years.
6. Mom was the most responsible and reliable person on earth. If she told you she was going to so something – you could bet your life that she’d do it. Now this might sound like a good quality to have. But have any of you ever promised Mom something and perhaps forgot or were just a little bit late on your delivery? If you did, then you’d know why this can be one of those combination blessing/ curse situations.
7. Mom had an impeccable memory. It really was impressive. However, just like point #6 above, this was not always good for the rest of us. “Do you remember that time when you lost my cars keys, and I was late for my best friend’s wedding?” “Mom, I was only 3 years old, and you gave me the keys to play with.” “Oh,” she said. I had forgotten that part.”
8. Mom had a horrendous singing voice and an even worse humming voice. Unfortunately for me, I rode in a whole lot of elevators with her and sat in a whole lot of doctor’s offices with her for a whole lot of hours.
9. Mom was physically a tiny person, which was a great contrast to her toughness. It’s amazing what a little woman can do with big determination, pursed lips and the ability to not blink for a full 90 seconds. My siblings and I each learned by age 1 month to stay out of her way. Survival instincts are one of the great wonders of the world.
10. The last of Mom’s qualities I’ll share with you is her “down- to-earthedness”, as I like to call it. She really did not need fancy things or try to impress others. She was happy to just spend time with friends and family, take a ride in the car and go exploring. She didn’t need fancy cars and posh vacations, just adventure and good company. This teaches us all that if our comfort zones are wide rather than narrow, our lives are far “richer.’ And just knowing her made all our lives a whole lot richer too.

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